Monday, April 17, 2017

Square One

Looking back is such a thing these days.  There are #ThrowbackThursdays and #FlashbackFridays.  Timehop reminds you of what you've posted on various social media sites.
Even Facebook has an "On This Day" reminder of the things you said over the past x number of years you've been on Facebook.  Sometimes it's embarrassing and you think, "Did I really say that?"  Usually  it's kind of nice to reminisce and think about where you've been, what you've done.

When the New Year rolled around, I was excited.  I thought to myself, "This is YOUR year!"  I was committed to regaining the strength I lost between my shoulder and recovering from multiple surgeries on my leg.  I was finally cleared to go all out and that's exactly what I did.  Until this happened: Down and Out.

Over the past 3+ years, I have been so focused on fitness that going from 100 to zero is a major blow.  Now I measure progress in terms of tying shoes, taking a walk without pain, cleaning the house, and picking up the laundry basket, and simply making it through the day.  I am restricted from doing just about everything that makes me happy.  No weight lifting, no running, no cycling. My doctor told me, "Back pain is tricky.  You have to listen to your body."
I couldn't run this race, so I walked, while my running buddies ran.  They were good sports and didn't mind waiting for me.  It was a BEAUTIFUL day for this race.l
Listen to my body?  What does that mean?

I have ALWAYS adhered to, "No pain, no gain."  "Give 100%"  What happens when you can't do the things you love?  What about when you were obese for your entire adult life and busted your butt to get in shape and now the rug is pulled out from beneath you?  Literally.

I wish I had all the answers to my own problems, but the thing is, "Back pain is tricky."  What works for one person, doesn't work for the next.  What worked yesterday may not work tomorrow.  But I do know, pushing through the pain will make things worse.  So, in this case, pain means "STOP."
Happy Easter from me and Sam
My doctor told me it could take a year.  A YEAR!  Are you serious?  He said, "You cannot put a time line on your recovery.  You have to listen to your body."

Listen to my body?  Here we go again.  What does that mean?

A year...

So, it's spring and I had already signed up for all kinds of races and other events, which I had to bail on:

  • A bunch of 5K races that I can't run.
  • The Run to Remember at the end of May.
  • The Tour de Cure and the Tough Mudder in June.

I have the Ride to Remember and the Rugged Maniac in September and I can only hope I am well enough to train for these in time.  But..."Back pain is tricky" and "Don't put a timeline on recovery."  So, I'm calculating how long I think I need, minimum to train for the Ride to Remember.  I'm not sure.  I think it depends on how well I can hold up riding for extended rides, once I actually can start riding again.

So, to answer your questions...
Yes, I am going to Physical Therapy.  Yes, it is helping.
Yes, I do still see my chiropractor, but this is a muscle injury, and there's not much more he can do.  It has to heal.
No, I haven't gained weight.  Not at all, really.  But my muscle mass has diminished and my clothes from last spring don't fit as well.  Great, just great.  It really is true, muscle weighs more than fat.
No, I'm not going to give up.  I realize that I am starting all over again.
My motto!
Back to square one.  And I also know I may not be able to move from square one for a while because, "Back pain is tricky." and "I have to listen to my body."
Today I did some very light weight lifting.  I mean, very light, like 10 - 15 lbs. light.  It felt good to just hold the weights in my hands.

While I already track my food, I am going to start tracking my workouts again, as well as my pain to see how I do every day.  I have to learn how to listen to my body.

I also realize that #FlashbackFridays and #ThrowbackThursdays are no good for me because all the retrospective is doing me in.  Looking back isn't doing me any good right now.  So it's looking ahead.  Starting over from square one.  Ground zero.  It's only up from here.

Question for you: (answer in the comment section below)
If you celebrate Easter, what did you do?

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