Happy Saturday! Today is National No Housework Day!
It's been a little while since I posted anything here. News Flash! I started a new blog.
Roaring Whispers is a blog addressing women's issues. It is a place to talk about all things that affect women. Health and wellness, spiritual, emotional, family and career. As well as those issues to which we have long been silenced. It's time to be bold and candid about what matters to us. It's something I've been thinking about starting for a long time, but didn't want to add one more thing to my list of "to-do's." Last week, I did a three part-series entitled, "On Forgiveness...and Death." A friend of mine lost her father last month and it stirred up a lot of things from the past with her, which got me to thinking about how lost / severed relationships pretty much boil down to unresolved conflict and unforgiveness. Roaring Whispers was inspired from topics like this, where I really wanted to talk about the issues, but Tracey's Getting Fit didn't seem to be the appropriate place to do so. I hope you'll check out my new blog. Spread the word to your friends and family, too! Having faithful readers is what keeps me writing.
Back to Tracey's Getting Fit and the topic of today.
Cheerleaders vs. Naysayers
On my journey to lose weight, I had more cheerleaders than I can count. Brian, Dmitriy, Erica and Maria were my number one cheerleaders. Can you have more than one #1? Each of them stood by me through thick and thin, listening, pushing, and refusing to put up with my bullsh--. When I became obsessed, one would step in and say, "Ummm, that's enough of that." When I felt like quitting, they ALL said, "No way, I won't hear it!" When I accomplished something big, they were the first people I told. You'll never believe what I did!
Far too often, when you embark on a journey to lose weight or get in shape, you will be surprised at the number of people who get in your way, quite literally. They block your path to reach your goals.
It can be as simple as your partner or friends refusing to support your new nutritional needs. Like when your partner serves you bagels with cream cheese and eggs fried in butter for breakfast. Or when the office knows you're trying to lose weight, but they put a plateful of pizza in front of you and give you a hard time for not eating it.
But sometimes it's more of a slap in the face.
Why are you even trying to lose weight? You try again and again and you always fail. Just give up.
You've lost 20 lbs. and your friend / partner says something like, "I don't see a difference. You still look fat."
Unfortunately, it's often the people closest to you who are your biggest naysayers. There are a few possibilities for this. You pick...
They may be fearful for you. Your success may literally scare them.
They may be jealous of your success or possible success. They don't have the courage themselves to get on board, so it's more comfortable to do / say things to bring you down.
They think their negativity is a way to be supportive so that if you do fail, there is some satisfaction in pointing that out to you.
They are sadistic, narcissistic ego maniacs who just don't know how to be supportive.
Whatever, or whoever they may be (your partner/spouse, your best friend, your parent, or the person you eat lunch with every day at work) it's YOUR choice to be successful. YOU do the work. YOU have to figure out how to work through the negativity.
Here are a few recommendations.
1) Talk to the people who you feel are bringing you down and tell them. "When you say things like this, it's not helping me. This is important to me and I want to be successful. I need your support. Please believe in me and encourage me." At first, make sure you are kind to them. They may not even realize what they are doing. But be firm!
2) Separate yourself from the people who bring you down. It hurts to do this, but it may be necessary. If you have a goal to accomplish and people are getting in your way, learn to be okay with spending less time with them.
3) Don't internalize their negative comments. Develop an internal dialogue that you say to yourself when someone says something to bring you down. For example, if they say, "You still look fat."
You say, "The scale doesn't lie. I can see that I've lost X number of pounds. My clothes don't fit right anymore. I have a long way to go, but I'm getting there."
Say it to them. Definitely. But say it to yourself. OVER and OVER again.
4) Be in charge of your own meals and nutrition.
If your partner has been making your meals, put an end to that. You take over the cooking and meal prep. Teach your partner how to cook with cooking spray instead of butter. Teach your partner about the value of lean protein and LOTS of veggies. Find healthy recipes you like and prepare them together. Subscribe to MyFitnessPal and send the email blogs about nutrition or recipes to your partner with the subject "Let's try this."
Taking charge of what/ when you eat will take work, but this is YOUR journey, so you can't sit back and allow others to drive your food train for you.
5) Find your cheerleaders and rely on them!!!
If you don't have a cheerleader, join some online groups. Join some fitness clubs / classes. Start riding your bike with the local club. You will make lots of new friends who will be your cheerleaders.
I remember the first year I was training for the Ride to Remember, a lot of people told me how dangerous bike riding is. I heard about every person who died in a cycling accident in the past 10 years. People posted links to stories about cycling accidents on my Facebook wall. I had to overcome all of that in order to attain my goal of being able to train for the ride. I was so afraid all on my own that I did not need their fearful warnings.
Unfortunately, I lost some of my closest friends when I was losing weight. While my focus was on working out, riding my bike and eating healthy, it meant I wasn't available to sit around, drink wine and eat crap with them anymore. Not only did we not have the same goals, mine were completely divergent from the way things had been. I had to learn to be okay with that. I made new friends.
Here's a new song with a great beat for your playlist...
New Rules by Dua Lipa
I got new rules, I count 'em
I gotta tell them to myself...
Practice makes perfect
I'm still tryna learn it by heart.
Questions for you: (Answer in the comment section below.)
Who is your biggest cheerleader? What do you do about naysayers?
My new mantra: Be the Champion of Today!
Have a great weekend! Go get 'em!
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