Sunday, March 15, 2015

Weather vs. Whether

Bless the Lord, O my soul, O my soul.  
Worship His holy name.  
Sing like never before, O my soul. 
I worship Your holy name.*

My favorite seasons are Spring and Fall.  I LOVE the spring for the flowers, the newness of everything, the bright colors, and for finally being able to open the windows.  I LOVE the fall not only because it's back to school, but for the amazing smells, crisp air, and apples!  I enjoy Summer too, but my favorites are most definitely Fall and Spring.  

Winter, on the other hand, takes its toll on me.  This year has been particularly harsh.  While the first snow is usually exciting, by the seventh storm, I was more than done.  The short days are oppressive.  It's depressing to leave for work and come home in the dark.

The sun comes up, it's a new day dawning.
It's time to sing your song again.
Whatever may pass  and whatever lies before me
Let me be singing when the evening comes.

In my journey towards fitness, it has not been the "weather" that has kept me back or moved me forward, for that matter.  It has been decisions whether to eat right or not, whether to workout or not, whether to take the stairs or the elevator.  As an obese person, it was not even so much the image in the mirror that made me feel good or bad about myself.  I felt out of control, overwhelmed and just didn't  care.  I was tired all the time, my joints ached.

What I failed to realize is all you need is to take the first step,  couple it with determination and you can start the journey.  It has been a long road for me, with several setbacks.  When I fractured my thumb last March, I could not use my hand to do anything.  This limited my workouts, so training was at a standstill.  If I was not at the gym, I tended to eat whatever I wanted, and as much as I wanted.  Ultimately, I did not give up.  I kept moving forward.  Looking back, it's easy to say, "If you had only fill in the blank a year ago, you would be  . . .  by now."  But I needed that part of my journey to learn how to overcome the setbacks and to stop listening to my own self-defeatist attitudes. 

This weekend, I attended a women's conference at my church, entitled, "Out of Hiding."  There were some topics that stirred some things up in me.  When I came home, I was feeling low about a particular situation and I wanted to eat.  The old feelings of hopelessness and being out of control crept up.  Unexpectedly, a dear friend invited me to a comedy show, something I definitely needed.  We spent some time together before the show, so I had the opportunity to talk about what I'm going through.  Instead of using food to help comfort me, I am seeking the Lord for direction,  Consciously, I know He is the one in control and I need to trust in Him.  At a deeper level, it is much harder than that.  It's not easy...trusting God and at the same asking Him to help me forgive, surrendering to Him.

And on that day when my strength is failing
The end draws near and my time has come
Still my soul will sing your praise unending.
10,000 years and then forevermore.

With Spring approaching, I thank God for the sunshine, for warmer and longer days.  It lifts my soul.  The warm weather will bring new opportunities to go hiking, ride my bike, and to spend time with the Lord in His creation.  I realized this weekend, that no matter what storm I am facing, He is with me and will satisfy my need.  I only have to seek Him.

What journey do you want to begin, but something is holding you back?  Trust in the Lord to lead your path and begin the journey.  Challenge yourself to weather the storm. Endeavor to succeed.  Accept failures as lessons to help you stick to your path.  Whether you realize it or not, you just need to take the first step to begin the journey.

*10,000 Reasons by Matt Redman