Back to Basics

I started this journey 21 months ago.  That seems like such a long time.  The first seven months, I spent flitting around, figuring things out on my own, not really committed to anything.  I was making little to no progress.  It was one thing or another, including a thumb injury.

Left:  I weighed 232 lbs. and was a Size 18.  This was the heaviest I ever was.  I felt horrible.  My joints ached.  I was depressed.  On New Years Day, 2014, I committed to change my exercise and eating habits.  Right: Taken on the Ride to Remember, my first Century bike ride from Springfield to Boston, MA.  I've lost 82 lbs. and am a Size 4.  Today I am in the best shape of my life.

When I started training with Mike in July, I got a new jump in my step and really got excited about my mission.  I did still complain and didn't really do everything I should have done, but for once I had confidence in accomplishing my goals.

I've written about my journey and transformation on this blog.  If  you haven't read these posts, these best detail my journey:
Mike Made Me Do It
Three Steps to Weight Loss
Dmitriy Made It Happen
Commitment
The Girl Picked Last

I recently posted about being at a Crossroads on my journey.  What do I do next?  What challenge am I thinking about taking on?  I'll be honest.  I've become somewhat "whiney," crabby and even a little insecure.  I've been tired.  My energy level is down.  I need things to change, but I haven't been sure what to do to change them.  Standing at a crossroads is zapping my motivation.

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on the wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:31

I talked to Dmitriy about this.  Your trainer is the one person you rely on most for advice about your general health, nutrition and fitness.  Dmitriy has never let me down, so I knew he was the one to help me figure this out.  The truth?  I'm tired of the drama...which I have brought on myself, all related to training for the Ride to Remember.  The stress and fear of not being able to accomplish it.  In looking back, everyone told me I didn't need to worry, that I would do just fine.  But I didn't believe them.  Right up to the night before the ride, my anxiety was through the roof.

I don't want to go back to feeling undone like that.  I do still want to ride my bike.  Don't get me wrong.  I love my bike.  I love the feeling of riding.  But I don't want to have all that pressure.  It's not me.

So where do I turn my focus?  

Dmitriy didn't give me the answers to my own questions.  How is he supposed to figure out what's next for me?  It has to be my decision.  What I want.  What he did do is help me look at the big picture.  As much as I want things to be concrete and measurable....maybe what I need is to find my center.  To go back to basics.  To remember WHY I started this journey?  WHAT made me actually enjoy working out?

We talked about some small things I can work on that are measurable.  But the bigger goal, if you will, is to reconnect.

So, my challenge is to keep my level of commitment, while taking time to restore my sense of self.

I am considering focusing on a few different things, some new, some not...

• Stretching and Yoga, for one.  
• Spending more time with my friends.  I have become a bit neglectful of them, so it's time to restore what I can of my friendships and reconnect with my biggest supporters.
• I want to pick up scrap booking again.  
• I want to try new healthy recipes to mix up what I eat.  I get bored easily and salad every day for lunch and dinner could get old fast.  (It hasn't yet, but...)

Pumpkin Smoothie... still trying to get the right combination of pumpkin and spice to make it taste good. I'm using a banana for my sweetener, which has a somewhat overpowering taste.  It's fun to experiment!

• And finally, I'm going to find at least one Bible study to do independently.  This one by Women of Faith peaked my interest: "Overcoming Worry: Finding Peace in the Midst of Uncertainty."  

At this point on my journey, it's about maintaining my focus, while getting back to the basics.

So, my challenge for you is somewhat introspective...

Where are you on your journey to fitness?  What's your level of motivation?  How inspired are you to accomplish your goals?  What do you need to do to change things up?  To make things happen?  Are you letting your circumstances get in your way?  What messages are you telling yourself that keep you from moving forward?

I tell people all the time, once you have the nutrition and exercise figured out, the rest is your own head game.  What do you tell yourself?  What keeps you from obtaining your goals?

For me, it's a little scary, but also somewhat comforting to go back to the beginning, to look inside myself and just be.

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Questions for you:  
What inspires you?
It's Wednesday...how do you deal with hump day?  What gets you through the week?