Sunday, June 18, 2017

It's Humbling

Happy Father's Day!  I hope you were able to celebrate with the man or men in your life that you love.  I had my dad over for lunch and spent the whole day with my husband.  It was nice.  Relaxing.  No fuss.
Dad & I
My biggest cheerleader
Brian & I
My heart
Back to the here is the bare honest truth.  This whole getting my game back on thing is extremely humbling.  I am perpetually feeling like starting all over again is just too much for me and the desire to throw in the towel seems to be nagging at me like crazy.

Discouragement knocks at my door every day and this afternoon I caught myself truly feeling sorry for myself.  Stop everything, get out the violins because poor, poor Tracey.  Oh my, when I realized I was wallowing in self pity, I pretty much slapped myself in the head and said, "Cut the bullsh** and get it together!"
So me!
Last week I set some pretty steep Goals for myself.
In my last post, I said to set realistic goals.  Realistic means ones you can actually attain.  Me?  I had a crazy busy week and planned two runs and two bike rides in one week.  I am lucky I got in one of each.

It's probably smart to a lot of people to set high goals so you can push yourself.  But me, I get discouraged too easily if I don't meet my goals.  I feel like I've failed, even if I've tried to reach them.  It's rubbish, but it's my Type A personality.
Courage.  That's what I need.
I did legs at the gym yesterday and my shoulder is bothering me, so I was going to skip working out today and just do some yoga at home.  Instead, I decided to do an at-home workout, followed by the yoga.  It was great.  I feel energized and encouraged.
I did 10 minutes going up and down the stairs, followed by a circuit of Kettle Bell swings, walking lunges, Kettle Bell Squats and bent over rows, that I repeated three times.
at home Yoga....feels so good.
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.  For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities.  For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 12:9-10

I also realize that I'm going to need some help as I work my way back.  Even though my proud self feels like she knows everything, I need someone to kick me in the butt.  I do.  So I asked my friend Ashley to help with me and we have plans for Wednesday.  It feels weird to have a new trainer.  This will be number four.  But I like Ashley, so if I feel like I can trust her after our first session together, I know it will be good for me to work with her.

For me, working with a trainer is less about having someone tell you what to do, and more about having someone to kick you in the butt, to encourage you when you're feeling down and to push you when you just don't want to.  I feel super whiney, so hopefully she won't be annoyed with me.
Looking forward to getting rid of the dueling voices and rebuilding my confidence.

This week's goals are a WHOLE lot more reasonable....

Question for you (answer in the comment section below):
Did you do anything for Father's Day?  What?

Musical notes    
A perfect workout tune for me...

There's Nothing Holding Me Back by Shawn Mendes

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