When what you DO isn't working

Over the past nearly five years, I have been focused on my journey towards health and wellness.  It's been a total transformation of body, mind and spirit.

This means, when what you've been doing isn't working anymore, you really have to sit down and say, "What's wrong?"

Back up.  Like thirty steps.

I haven't posted anything in months, so I feel bad jumping in like this without some background.

In June, 2016, I hurt my shoulder.  I continue to struggle with the pain which comes and goes.  That October, I had surgery on my varicose veins, from which I developed several superficial blood clots that kept resurfacing.  To correct that, had more extensive surgery in December.  That was 2016.

In February, 2017 I hurt my back.  In March, I slipped on black ice at work and re-injured my already compromised back.

The pain was so bad, I had to go to the e.r.  I could not walk.

Followed by MONTHS of recovery...
For days, I pretty much just laid flat on my back on the floor.

Fast forward to November, 2017 and I was feeling frustrated by the lack of progress in my training, my now significantly weakened body, and a slow increase in my weight and change in body composition.  My pants weren't fitting anymore.  I was still watching / counting my calories and macros, but I wasn't seeing any results.  In fact, I was going backwards from where I wanted to be.

I was introduced to my trainer, Pat who is AMAZING.  A completely new focus on my training meant injury recovery and strength building, which meant I had to EAT!  And so I ate... pretty much whatever I wanted.  Days went by where I would log my food, but I didn't care if I went over my calories.  On days when I splurged (which became far more frequent), I logged breakfast and lunch, but left dinner and snacks out.  MyFitnessPal kept telling me I'd be super thin in 5 weeks, but the reverse is what I witnessed.

Come spring and the weather finally turned warmer and my bike came out of hiding.  And I struggled.  Pat would say something like this:  "Tracey, you have to eat.  You can't lift heavy, ride your bike for 30+ miles and lose weight without a compromise.  Something has to give."  Uggh.  I don't want to get fat again.  I want my clothes to fit.  I want to ride my bike and I want to lift heavy weights.  I want it all.

Literally, I wanted my cake and eat it too!

When I started this journey, one of my goals was to complete the Ride to Remember.  This year was my 4th year doing the ride.  Each year has been a unique experience.  I trained so hard for it the first year that I actually felt easy.  That said, in the years that followed, my training waned slightly each year, on top of struggling with chronic pain.  This year was going to be different.  I was NOT going to let pain interfere with my ride.  And, I was determined to train hard for the ride without obsessing like I did the first year.  This new mindset and focus paid off.  I will write more in another post about the day, but to sum it up, this year's Ride to Remember was an amazing ride!!!

BUT...Friday night when I was packing my clothes for the ride home on the bus, I was looking for a comfortable t-shirt to wear.  I took out both of my favorite Wonder Woman shirts and neither fit.  Too tight.  I took out another Wonder Woman shirt and IT didn't fit.  WHAT THE HECK!

While I could put them on, they looked tight and I looked ridiculous in them.

Now, I had already been talking to Pat about changing the focus of my training after the Ride to Remember.  And I knew that clearly, while counting (and eating) calories and macros had been helping me to build strength and train for the ride, it wasn't helping me to stay lean.  I asked him what he thought about the Keto diet.  It scared me.  I am carb dependent.  I really am.  I've tried low carb before and it's always been a complete disaster.  I am such a fan of flexible dieting that I really struggle with the mindset of restricting / eliminating food groups.  Flexible dieting allows you to eat cake!  Not all the time, but on occasion.

In all seriousness, I knew that was used to work for me wasn't working anymore.  I'm getting older. At 49, the pre-menopausal hormone fluctuations mess with my body and ability to sleep.  I live with fatigue and have aches and pains where there were none before.  Sleep often daunts me, so I live with fatigue.  I have aches and pains where I didn't used to have them.

I knew change is necessary and I believe it starts at the core.  Nutrition.  This is why keto intrigued me.  I had read how good it is for people who have certain medical conditions, as well as for burning body fat.  And that is key to me.  While the numbers on the scale haven't changed that much over the past year or two, my body composition has changed and I want to lean out.  To see definition in my muscles, even on days when I don't work out!!

This week, I jumped off the cliff, into the deep and and began my KETO journey.  The keto diet is a way to transition your metabolism from using carbohydrates for energy to using fat.  Today is Day 7 with my new food plan.  It has NOT been an easy initial transition.  I am carb-dependent, so the severe cutback really got to me for the first several days.  AND I still want to ride my bike, so I am going to have to figure out how to carb-cycle on days when I ride.  I tried to ride yesterday and it was not a good ride.  Despite the rocky start, I am committed to make this work.  I know seven days is not enough time to fairly say this is or is not working for me.

I am focusing on the positives.  I don't feel or look bloated anymore.  I don't look like I'm pregnant anymore!!  I still feel like I'm in a caloric deficit, I'm already past the cravings and the feeling like I have to eat all the time.  The scale is not the sole guideline for success, but I have lost 5 lbs. so far.  And Pat put together a new training plan for me that focuses on both strength building and fat burning.  I start that today, so I'm looking forward to that! 

I'm also taking some risks with my cooking, like these pan-seared scallops and roasted asparagus.  The scallops don't look "seared" because I'm new to this and figuring out how to blacken them without them sticking to the pan is a work in progress, but they were SOOOO good!

I'll be writing more as I endeavor to be successful on this new segment of my journey.  I'm looking forward to sharing with you both the ups and the downs.  The measure of success for will be how I feel mentally and physically, as well as how I look in the mirror / how my clothes fit.  Stay tuned.

I want to look good in a sports bra and short shorts again!

This was taken yesterday.  It's my new before shot!

Stay tuned for more, including all about this year's Ride to Remember! 

Meanwhile, be the champion of today!

Questions for you:  (Answer in the comment section below.)

How is your nutrition going?  What food plan do you follow?  Have you ever tried keto?  Any tips to share, let me know!!

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