When what you DO isn't working

Over the past nearly five years, I have been focused on my journey towards health and wellness.  It's been a total transformation of body, mind and spirit.

This means, when what you've been doing isn't working anymore, you really have to sit down and say, "What's wrong?"

Back up.  Like thirty steps.

I haven't posted anything in months, so I feel bad jumping in like this without some background.

In June, 2016, I hurt my shoulder.  I continue to struggle with the pain which comes and goes.  That October, I had surgery on my varicose veins, from which I developed several superficial blood clots that kept resurfacing.  To correct that, had more extensive surgery in December.  That was 2016.

In February, 2017 I hurt my back.  In March, I slipped on black ice at work and re-injured my already compromised back.

The pain was so bad, I had to go to the e.r.  I could not walk.

Followed by MONTHS of recovery...
For days, I pretty much just laid flat on my back on the floor.

Fast forward to November, 2017 and I was feeling frustrated by the lack of progress in my training, my now significantly weakened body, and a slow increase in my weight and change in body composition.  My pants weren't fitting anymore.  I was still watching / counting my calories and macros, but I wasn't seeing any results.  In fact, I was going backwards from where I wanted to be.

I was introduced to my trainer, Pat who is AMAZING.  A completely new focus on my training meant injury recovery and strength building, which meant I had to EAT!  And so I ate... pretty much whatever I wanted.  Days went by where I would log my food, but I didn't care if I went over my calories.  On days when I splurged (which became far more frequent), I logged breakfast and lunch, but left dinner and snacks out.  MyFitnessPal kept telling me I'd be super thin in 5 weeks, but the reverse is what I witnessed.

Come spring and the weather finally turned warmer and my bike came out of hiding.  And I struggled.  Pat would say something like this:  "Tracey, you have to eat.  You can't lift heavy, ride your bike for 30+ miles and lose weight without a compromise.  Something has to give."  Uggh.  I don't want to get fat again.  I want my clothes to fit.  I want to ride my bike and I want to lift heavy weights.  I want it all.

Literally, I wanted my cake and eat it too!

When I started this journey, one of my goals was to complete the Ride to Remember.  This year was my 4th year doing the ride.  Each year has been a unique experience.  I trained so hard for it the first year that I actually felt easy.  That said, in the years that followed, my training waned slightly each year, on top of struggling with chronic pain.  This year was going to be different.  I was NOT going to let pain interfere with my ride.  And, I was determined to train hard for the ride without obsessing like I did the first year.  This new mindset and focus paid off.  I will write more in another post about the day, but to sum it up, this year's Ride to Remember was an amazing ride!!!

BUT...Friday night when I was packing my clothes for the ride home on the bus, I was looking for a comfortable t-shirt to wear.  I took out both of my favorite Wonder Woman shirts and neither fit.  Too tight.  I took out another Wonder Woman shirt and IT didn't fit.  WHAT THE HECK!

While I could put them on, they looked tight and I looked ridiculous in them.

Now, I had already been talking to Pat about changing the focus of my training after the Ride to Remember.  And I knew that clearly, while counting (and eating) calories and macros had been helping me to build strength and train for the ride, it wasn't helping me to stay lean.  I asked him what he thought about the Keto diet.  It scared me.  I am carb dependent.  I really am.  I've tried low carb before and it's always been a complete disaster.  I am such a fan of flexible dieting that I really struggle with the mindset of restricting / eliminating food groups.  Flexible dieting allows you to eat cake!  Not all the time, but on occasion.

In all seriousness, I knew that was used to work for me wasn't working anymore.  I'm getting older. At 49, the pre-menopausal hormone fluctuations mess with my body and ability to sleep.  I live with fatigue and have aches and pains where there were none before.  Sleep often daunts me, so I live with fatigue.  I have aches and pains where I didn't used to have them.

I knew change is necessary and I believe it starts at the core.  Nutrition.  This is why keto intrigued me.  I had read how good it is for people who have certain medical conditions, as well as for burning body fat.  And that is key to me.  While the numbers on the scale haven't changed that much over the past year or two, my body composition has changed and I want to lean out.  To see definition in my muscles, even on days when I don't work out!!

This week, I jumped off the cliff, into the deep and and began my KETO journey.  The keto diet is a way to transition your metabolism from using carbohydrates for energy to using fat.  Today is Day 7 with my new food plan.  It has NOT been an easy initial transition.  I am carb-dependent, so the severe cutback really got to me for the first several days.  AND I still want to ride my bike, so I am going to have to figure out how to carb-cycle on days when I ride.  I tried to ride yesterday and it was not a good ride.  Despite the rocky start, I am committed to make this work.  I know seven days is not enough time to fairly say this is or is not working for me.

I am focusing on the positives.  I don't feel or look bloated anymore.  I don't look like I'm pregnant anymore!!  I still feel like I'm in a caloric deficit, I'm already past the cravings and the feeling like I have to eat all the time.  The scale is not the sole guideline for success, but I have lost 5 lbs. so far.  And Pat put together a new training plan for me that focuses on both strength building and fat burning.  I start that today, so I'm looking forward to that! 

I'm also taking some risks with my cooking, like these pan-seared scallops and roasted asparagus.  The scallops don't look "seared" because I'm new to this and figuring out how to blacken them without them sticking to the pan is a work in progress, but they were SOOOO good!

I'll be writing more as I endeavor to be successful on this new segment of my journey.  I'm looking forward to sharing with you both the ups and the downs.  The measure of success for will be how I feel mentally and physically, as well as how I look in the mirror / how my clothes fit.  Stay tuned.

I want to look good in a sports bra and short shorts again!

This was taken yesterday.  It's my new before shot!

Stay tuned for more, including all about this year's Ride to Remember! 

Meanwhile, be the champion of today!

Questions for you:  (Answer in the comment section below.)

How is your nutrition going?  What food plan do you follow?  Have you ever tried keto?  Any tips to share, let me know!!

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Want information about personal training?  

Contact Pat!  He's AWESOME and you will really like working with him!

From Flab to Fab

We started a Biggest Loser Competition at work again this month.  It's a fun thing to do together as a collective - to all be on the same page with health and wellness as our common goal.

My focus right now is on building endurance and strength, so I'm not trying to lose weight.  We have quite a few new people in our school who didn't know me "before."  So they are surprised to hear that I lost a lot of weight.  The question of the week has been, "Tracey, can you help me?"

This post is for you!  I'm going to share the key things I did and continue to do to keep the weight off.  So, how do you get started?  What do you do?  Can you take control over your yo-yo dieting?  Well, the last one is up to you, because you do have to get started first, but the yo-yo dieting stopped for me when I started doing these things.

TRACK YOUR FOOD!

As I have shared before, I track all of my food in MyFitnessPal.  Everything - good and bad.  If I'm trying to lose weight, or burn fat, I adjust my daily macros and caloric intake.  (Macros is short for macronutrients:  protein, carbohydrates and fat.) If for whatever reason, you can't do that or aren't ready just yet, start by writing down everything you eat.  Use a notebook (even try the one in your phone) or something more structured like this food journal I found below:

The reason you want to keep track of what you eat is so you can see trends.  When you eat really light one day, are you super hungry later at night or the next day?  If so, adjust your daily food intake.

DRINK MORE WATER

This is something I still struggle with the most, maybe that and my sweet tooth.  But getting enough water is so important.  If you keep water by your side all the time and sip it throughout the day, you will be less likely to want to eat when you're not really hungry.  How much should you drink?  Everyone has a different answer.  I've read to drink one ounce for every pound you are, 8 glasses per day, or at least a gallon of water per day.  I've even read several times that your coffee and the liquid in your food count towards your daily water intake.  (This I don't believe at all!)  I think there is a fine line.  Drink enough so your urine isn't yellow and your mouth isn't dry.  Just DRINK!

INCREASE VEGGIES and LEAN PROTEIN

One of the people who asked me for help told me that she eats salad for lunch and dinner when she's trying to lose weight.  I don't mind salad, but I don't eat it every day.  In fact, I can't remember the last time I had salad.  Every day I eat plenty of steamed vegetables, veggie omelets, soups with lots of veggies or fresh cut veggies like tomatoes, cucumbers and raw zucchini.   I ALWAYS include protein with my vegetables.  For dinner the other night, I had left over sirloin steak with steamed green beans, steamed asparagus and some cut up tomatoes and cucumbers on the side.  It was very satisfying and tasted great.  I couldn't even eat all the veggies because I was so full.

If you want to eat salad every day, there is no harm in that, but try to spice it up a little.  Try different dressings and proteins with your salads.  One of my favorite salads is shredded carrots, cabbage, and chopped broccoli with left over teriyaki chicken thighs cooked in the crock pot.  I use Ken's Light Asian salad dressing and sprinkle a few sesame seeds over the top.  Try spinach, tomatoes and shrimp or make your own taco salad.  There is a lot you can do to change things up  with your salads.

Make sure you eat PLENTY of protein ALL day.  I recommend at least 25 grams of protein for every meal and a protein rich snack in the morning and again in the afternoon.

For breakfast, try something like this:
2 large eggs, scrambled (12 g protein)
1/2 cup of egg whites (10 g protein)
One slice of whole grain toast (4 g protein).

For lunch, think PROTEIN:
3 1/2 oz. chicken breast (30 g protein)
with home made Vegetable Soup or
make your own salad (hold the cheese, please)

For dinner, think PROTEIN!  Try one of these recipes...
One-Pain Beef Enchiladas  (41 g protein)
Shrimp Burrito Bowl (34 g protein)
Chicken Salad  (34 g protein)
Caprese Chicken and Roasted Broccoli (26 g protein)
Pork Chops with Roasted Vegetables (29 g protein)

Protein rich snacks:
Protein Smoothie (*protein depends on your brand of protein)
Protein bars (with at least 20 g protein)
Greek yogurt with two tbsp. granola (12-18 g protein)
3/4 cup Cottage cheese with tomatoes  (20 g protein)
1/2 cup Oatmeal (5 g protein) with protein* added
2 hard boiled eggs (12 g protein)
1 scoop protein powder* (your favorite flavor), with 1 Tbsp. peanut (or nut) butter and a few drops of water (Mix together until it makes a thick pudding type texture.  The peanut butter makes this extra yummy.)

Note, there are a lot of other healthy snack options, I'm just brain storming the ones that are protein rich.

These are just a few ideas to get you started.

CUT OUT (or SEVERELY BACK) on SUGARY SWEETS

This is much harder said than done, I understand.  But for those of us with a sweet tooth, this is our demise.  By increasing your daily protein and healthy fats, you can stave off hunger better.  I keep Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches in my freezer in the basement for the times when I really need something sweet.

MOVE

You need to increase your metabolism so it burns the calories you eat.  To do that, you need to eat, but you also need to move your body.  Pick up a new hobby for this year...try riding your bike, hiking, or swimming.  If you are stuck inside with poor weather right now like I am, just figure out a way to move your body.  Walk around your office every hour, go up and down the stairs as many times as you can.  Make a point to increase your movement.  Using a fitness tracker, such as the one on your phone or a FitBit makes it easier.

Your goal should be to include 1 hour of exercise every day.  I know that seems like a LOT and probably completely out of reach if you are relatively sedentary.  But that's the end goal.  You don't have to start out that way.  I tell people to increase their movement by 10% each week.  So if you're averaging 5,000 steps per day, that's an extra 500 steps each day for next week.  You want to make the most of the time and space you do have. Check out my post 10 Minutes for some suggestions.

Lift Weights

To increase your metabolism, you want to improve your body composition, by decreasing your fat and increasing your muscle mass.  To do that, add resistance training into your routine.

If you don't know how to lift free weights, try the machines at your gym.  A lot of gyms have them set up like a circuit, where you move from one machine to the next.  If you're not sure how to use the machine, ASK someone.  Before you move from one machine to the next, complete 3 sets of 10 repetitions each machine.  That means you would do one exercise for 10 times on the same machine.  Give yourself 30 seconds to two minutes to recover and repeat that two more times, for 3 total sets.   Then go onto the next machine.  Keep in mind, you want to start by keeping the weight LIGHT.  You want to do the exercise with good form or you will not benefit from the exercise and can hurt yourself.  Gradually add weight each week so you can complete the 3 sets.

If you want to learn how to lift free weights properly, try some classes your gym offers or work with a trainer.

Can you do it?  Of course you can!  Come up with a plan.  How will you do it?  What's your strategy?  Then follow through.  You GOT this!  Start by downloading the MyFitnessPal app or use a notebook to keep track of your food.  Then go shopping and load up on all the colors - lots of fruit, vegetables and lean protein options.  Finally, look at your schedule and plan your workouts.  If one day looks busy to you, plan to move your body for at least 10 minutes in the morning, again at lunch and later in the day.  Last but not least, keep your water bottle filled and drink, drink, drink.

Stop the getaway car and take hold of your health today!  You got this!  You do!

I posted this a couple weeks ago.  When I started this journey on January 1, 2014, I weighed 232 lbs. 
I've kept the weight off too. You just have to stick with it!

Tune for your play list:  

Getaway Car by Taylor Swift

Questions for you:  (Answer in the comment section below.)
Are you trying to lose weight?  Have you been on one yo-yo diet after another?  What's different this time?

Follow me...

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/TraceyGettingFit

Instagram:  @tracoleman99

Email:  tracoleman99@gmail.com

The Dark Side of the Moon

Have you ever studied the phases of the moon?  Doesn't it seem like the full moon lasts for just a day or two?  Yet the new moon, when the dark side of the moon faces the earth, seems to last forever?  This week we are in the new phase, when there is very little light to brighten the evening skies.

With a new puppy in the house, I spend a lot of time outside with her, training and playing with her and Koby.  This week, I couldn't help but think about how the darkness of the night compares with my emotional state.

Leia LOVES all of Koby's toys.  She takes every single one of them out, throws them around his bed and lays on top of it, like she's the Queen Bee.  He doesn't mind too much, she's growing on him.

Since I've lost the weight, I can't help but look inward, so I can identify what contributed to  my obesity (and being stuck there for so long).  I know I struggle with anxiety, which grips me at times. There is a feeling like a vice grip is wrapped around my chest.  It wakes me up in the middle of the night, not being able to turn my brain off.  It's horrible.  I spoke to my doctor about it last fall and he gave me some medication to help deal with it.  It took about a month for me to feel better.  Now the vice grip is gone and I am able to sleep much better now.  I still struggle with it.  I can't turn my brain off sometimes.

Now I can see more clearly that my anxiety is like the phases of the moon.  I am currently in the New Moon phase, the dark side of the moon.  For the past several weeks, maybe months even, I have had a hard time seeing any light.  I feel down.  I lack energy and motivation.  My inspiration is zapped.  There is a name for this and it's not anxiety.  It's depression.

Yesterday I went to the doctor for my annual checkup.  Before I saw him, the medical assistant asked me, "In the past two weeks, how often have you felt down, depressed, or hopeless?"

Ummmm...every day.  

"Has it prevented you from doing things you normally do."

Ummmmm...yes, most definitely.

The doctor increased the dose of my medication.  I go back to see him in a month.

This got me to thinking about not only my journey these past two+ years, but my life's journey.

The dark side of the moon, my depression, has affected me just as much as my anxiety.  Losing weight has helped me overcome it to a point, but when life kicks in, you cannot change your chemical makeup.  I used food as a coping mechanism.  This only backfired, leaving me feeling guilty after.

I have to be honest with you, I feel like this is a tremendous breakthrough for me.  I am embracing it, embracing the depression.  It's me.  It's who I am and I am okay with it.  The change in my medication will help.  But now I have the skills I need to turn on a few internal candles, instead of allowing food to be my source of comfort.

Last night it was difficult.  I wanted a Friendly's Peanut Butter Sundae Cup.  If there had been any in the house, I would surely have eaten all 450 calories of one and snuck in a second one for good measure.  Instead, I had a Skinny Cow, an orange and some peanut butter.  Still was probably 450 calories, but it was controlled.  The Skinny Cow satisfied my need for ice cream, the orange satisfied my need for sugar and the peanut butter staved off any additional cravings and hunger I might have for the rest of the the night.

This morning, I don't feel guilty.

I realize that I am in the New Moon Phase.  Food will no longer rule my world.

Even though the gym is the last place I want to be ...

"Has it prevented you from doing things you normally do?"

I will go, I will work through this.

Now that the weather is warmer, I will ride my bike more often, which will kick my adrenaline back up.  Feeling the sunshine on my skin will boost my energy.

I went out twice this week.  My first ride was a quick 13 mile ride to make sure the bike was working and that everything checked out okay.  Wednesday it was 80 degrees out and I went for a 30+ mile ride with ladies from the Competitive Edge Cycling club.  It was amazing.  No pictures from that ride, though.

Do you struggle with anxiety or depression?  How do you manage it?  Or does it manage you?  Do you use food to comfort you?  If you can relate to this, my prayer is for you to see there is hope, even in the darkness.  You can learn strategies to help you work through the dark times so that food, alcohol or drugs don't rule your life.  Even when you are feeling down and hopeless, there is always hope.  The sun will come out.  The moon will start to shine again.  The light will fill you.

Happy Friday!

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.  Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.
Deuteronomy 3:18 NIV

Questions for you:  (Answer in the comments below.)
What plans to you have this weekend?  Are you excited about spring?

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Being True to Yourself

Nearly two years ago, this was me:

So, you want to lose weight? You want to get in shape?  You want to change your lifestyle?
You pick (or don't pick) out a nutrition plan, decide to go to the gym.
A year later, things are progressing, but you're not where you want to be.
You make additional adjustments, ramp up your game, completely change your nutrition and a few months later, you are a new person.

Left:  Me in August, 2013
Right:  Me in October, 2015

The new me...
I have become a bit of a gym rat.  I love working out.  I love lifting weights.
I found a new passion in riding my bike.  This fall, every nice day has become, "This could be the last day I ride my bike."  And then there's another day, and another.  It's been awesome.
I renewed my passion for hiking and have ventured out on some new trails, climbing some new mountains.
I am somewhat religious about my eating habits (although I have really been slacking off lately).
I read blogs about health, fitness and cycling daily.
Yesterday, I took a 5 mile walk and I thought to myself, "Who are you and what happened to the old Tracey?"  It made me think, "Am I being true to myself?"

I guess the new me has new priorities.  I would no longer classify myself as a workaholic.  I now recognize poor nutritional choices as that and don't beat myself up about them.  Last Wednesday and Thursday I was way over my calories and then Friday was a complete debacle.  Yesterday and today were new days and I ate as clean and healthy as I know how to eat.  I was under my calories without cheating.  I drank a ton of water.  It felt good to be back on track.

This is me at the finish line of the Ride to Remember in September
Photo by K&M Photography

So, to answer my question, I think I am true to myself.  While my priorities have changed, I don't see myself as being fake or phony.  I'm not pretending.  I'm not doing this for anyone but me.  And THAT is why I know my journey is a lifetime commitment.  Yes, I will have bad days or bad weeks.  Yes, I will eat apple pie and too much from time to time.  But I know I have the skills to recognize what is happening and put the pieces back together.

I feel like this is a major triumph on my journey.

Commit your work to the Lord, and your plans will be established.

Proverbs 16:3

I am so looking forward to the road before me.  Not to rush the path, but to see what's around the corner and take on new challenges and adventures.  This is how I know I am being true to myself.

As you look towards the end of 2015, are you thinking about what you want to change in your life?  I am living proof that New Year's resolutions do work if you stick with them.  So, as December approaches, have you contemplated any New Year's resolutions?  Do you want your health and fitness to improve?  Do you need to lose weight?  Do you want to run your first 5K?  Do you want to ride your first Century bike ride?  Do you want to quit smoking?  Quit drinking?  Quit gambling?  Do you need to make changes in your relationships?  In your career?  In your finances?

I challenge you to NOT wait until January 1 to get started.  Today is the ONE day you can control.  Today is the day.  Develop a plan as to how you will accomplish your goal.  Create a mantra (the dialogue you will have with yourself) to keep your level of commitment.  The first few days, week or month are the easiest because your motivation is high.  It's what comes later that truly tests you.  For me, I had to tell myself over and over, "You have to figure this out.  You can't be a quitter."

Here's to December, to 2016, to new beginnings, to being true to yourself.

Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.  Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own.  But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 3:12-14

Check out my series:  What Matters Most
Part One      Part Two       Part Three       Part Four

Question for you: (Answer in the comment section below.)
What goals do you have for 2016?  What's stopping you from working on them now?

Now:  Subscribe to new posts!  When a new post is added, you will receive an email notice so you can check it out.  I promise:  no SPAM and I won't share your email address with anyone.  Look at the top right side of the page to subscribe.  

Follow me on Instagram:  @tracoleman99

Too Much

Happy Day AFTER Thanksgiving, also known as Black Friday!

Last year we went to Orlando for a few days and spent Thanksgiving in Epcot Center.  Black Friday we went to Universal Studios, so we missed out on our traditional Thanksgiving dinner and Black Friday madness.

Thanksgiving (2014) in Epcot Center

Black Friday (2014) in Universal Studios, Orlando

This year, we had a small gathering at our house.  Several of our usual attendees were not with us, so it was very small and we had way TOO MUCH food.  I don't think I've eaten so much in three years.  I was still full this morning.

Mitch and his girlfriend had dinner with her family.
Friend Karen had dinner with her neighbors.
Mom and my Uncle Wesley weren't feeling well, so they weren't with us.
Just a small group, but food for WAY more!

Now that my kids are older, there isn't the pressure to go crazy shopping in the middle of the night on Black Friday.  Massachusetts has Blue Laws, which prevent stores from opening on Thanksgiving.  I'm just as glad because I think it's wrong for stores to be open, making their employees work and miss out on time with their families.  Today, I did do some shopping, but the lines in the stores were ridiculous, so I called it quits soon.

The weather today was gorgeous.  It was sunny, 64 degrees, with a slight breeze.  I just HAD to go out on my bike.  Because I didn't have to work today, I took advantage of the time.  I did 35 miles, including over 1,600 feet of climbing (which means awesome downhill thrills).  It's been a while since I rode 35 miles.  When I got back, I was tired and HUNGRY.  I had left over shrimp cocktail for dinner.  And the rest of the apple and pumpkin pie.

Who does that?  I mean, I get it, you're hungry, Tracey.  But, what's with the pie?  Now that the pie is gone, it won't be there to tempt me anymore.  I guess that's a good thing.  But it has me thinking about the continuous need for balance.  I've been on this journey for two years.  Just when I think I have things "under control" the holidays come and I eat left over apple and pumpkin pie for dinner.  Not exactly the healthiest choices.  I'm not going to beat myself up about it.  It just makes me realize that I'm not finished yet.  My trainer tells me that all the time.  He says, "Tracey, you're doing great.  But the good thing is you're not finished yet."  And I laugh and say, "What do you mean by that?"  Today I know.  There's no reason I needed to eat so much yesterday (to the point where I was physically ill) and there is absolutely no reason to eat pie for dinner tonight.  It was simply put, TOO MUCH.

My weight is okay.  I'm not worried about that.  I am concerned about my complete lack of self-control.  So, I'm learning.  Tonight will be lots of water.  I'm leaning towards super clean eating for the next week.  Chicken, vegetables, salad, repeat.  I am also thinking about how I will handle Christmas.  I know we will have more guests, which will keep me busier and less focused on all the food.  But I'm already thinking about the menu and how to throw some lighter fare into the mix so I don't feel sick after I eat.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control.

2 Timothy 1:7

Final thought on this topic:  tomorrow is a new day.  Thank God for new days.

Check out my series:  What Matters Most
Part One      Part Two       Part Three       Part Four

Question for you: (Answer in the comment section below.)
What amazing foods did you eat this weekend?

Now:  Subscribe to new posts!  When a new post is added, you will receive an email notice so you can check it out.  I promise:  no SPAM and I won't share your email address with anyone.  Look at the top right side of the page to subscribe.  

Follow me on Instagram:  @tracoleman99

Overcoming Food Guilt

Twenty-two months into this journey, I would say that I pretty much have figured out how to eat well and keep my nutrition in check.  I would even say that I can afford a "cheat day" or two here and there (sometimes called a "re-feed") to give my metabolism a kick start.  I don't understand it at all, but it works.

Somehow, I still feel guilty when I eat foods that are "bad."  Why do we even assign  the label "bad" to food?  Today was a bad day.  A whole bunch of crazy things happened at work today and I never got to eat lunch, which lead to a crazy hungry woman by the time I got home.  I had a decent snack before working out at the gym, but at 5:30, I was feeling really horrible.  I had a headache, and that dull "low carb" feeling I get. So, I ordered fish & chips from Big Y.  Not a great idea nutritionally, but I didn't really care.  I ate half of it and followed up with a small serving of Bryer's Coffee Ice Cream (I needed the carbs).

The problem is that now I feel like a stuffed sausage and I feel guilty about having a bad day nutritionally.  I get it!  It doesn't matter too much if I blow it because I've lost so much weight, one bad day is not going to put 10 lbs. on me.  So, why do I feel guilty?  On the whole, I eat well, I eat clean and I make smart choices.  I allow an occasional "treat."  But the guilt...

So, I've been considering the root cause and I think I may get it.

When I was fat, I ate to provide myself with comfort.  I rarely made any smart choices about food.  So when I ate ice cream, pizza, fast food, fried food, or too much food - I always felt some level of "Awwww, there you go," which was followed by a guilty nagging voice in my head.  "You're fat and look at what you're eating.  You'll always be fat.  You are out of control."

Now...I'm not fat, and I don't seek food as a source of comfort.  I know when I am truly hungry.  Since today was a bad day at work, followed by some nutritional volcanoes, I think the guilt is  kind of like Pavlov's dog...it is a learned response.

So, to my friends who battle with weight.  Here's my advice to you.  If you feel guilty about food or nutritional choices, look deeply at what you are associating with the guilt.  Why do you feel guilty about food?  If you are on the road to a healthy lifestyle, you do NOT have to feel guilty about making an occasional poor choice for a meal, or having an cheat day from time to time.

Stop thinking that you had a "bad day" or that you were "bad."  Food does not carry moral characteristics, so you shouldn't associate good and bad with it!

When you fall off the wagon, get back on!  Don't let one day of poor choices derail your efforts.  The discouragement that goes along with that can set you back too far.

DO allow yourself an occasional treat.  You can have one treat without having an entire cheat day.  If you're on vacation, you can make smart food choices overall and allow yourself dessert.  Limiting what you eat all the time will prevent you from having long term success.

I realized today this is something with which I will continue to struggle.  I am not free from the battle with food.  As long as I feel guilty about eating something pleasurable, this will continue to be an area to address.

So, my friends, fight the good fight.  Be encouraged!  Be strong!  Keep at it.  Remember your goals.  Remember WHY you wanted to do this in the first place.

"Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."
1 Corinthians 10:31

Twenty-two months ago, I weighed 232 lbs.  It took me seven months for the motivation to kick in and another six months of doing things my own way before I finally gave up and took Dimitriy's advice.  That was an entire year of trial and error, but I never gave up.  Stick with it!  You CAN do it!

Fight the good fight!

Question for you... (Answer in the comment section below)

What did you have for dinner tonight?

What's your one biggest food weakness?

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Excuses and Self-care

I started this blog because when people see me and are shocked by the change they see in me, they want to know how I did it.  I usually am flattered, but sometimes I hear and see my old self when they respond.

I have heard  just about every reason whey people want to lose weight, but can't.  It almost always has to do with being too busy, which really makes me laugh.  I work full time, have two kids and am in college.  Until I went back to school, I was actively involved in service at my church.  Yet, somehow I found the time to make my health a priority.

I used to make excuses too.  I didn't go to the gym because it was too cold, because I didn't have anyone to go with, because I was too tired, too fat, I didn't have time, I didn't feel like it, I didn't have the energy.  You name it, I had the excuse.  When people ask me how I lost weight and respond with these kinds of answers, I totally get it.  I do.

This made me laugh!!!!  

This is how I used to think when I made excuses for not exercising or for eating garbage.  I didn't really have a legitimate excuse.  I simply was not ready to commit.

When you are ready to make the change in your life, you have to be honest with yourself, you have to make yourself a priority, you have to stop making excuses and you have to say, "Enough is enough."  Once that happens, you can move forward.

Self-care is important to the big picture.  When you take care of yourself physically, you are able to take care of yourself mentally and spiritually, as well.  Taking time out of your day to exercise and to plan nutritious meals is worth the overall benefit.

You can't adequately take care of other people if you don't take care of yourself.

In fact, the Bible agrees with this!  There are at least 8 different Scriptures that include the following:

"Love your neighbor as yourself."

Leviticus 19:18, Matthew 19:19, Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31, Luke 10:27, Romans 13:9, Galatians 5:14, and James 2:8
When the Bible says this over and over, it must be important!

Think about this.  If you are stressed, your family feels it.  If you aren't sleeping enough, you can't cope with everything life throws at you.  If you are not centered physically, mentally and spiritually, your relationships and your family suffer.  Job performance is not optimal if you are stressed.  Seek balance.

You must consider both exercise and nutrition.  Plan exercise into your routine every day.  If you make it a priority, you know you can count on at least six out of seven days each week, which is optimal.  I wake up in the morning asking myself, "When am I going to the gym today?"  If I have a busy or full day ahead, I work in at least a 30 minute workout in between the craziness.  I always have a packed gym bag in my car.  Think about this, one hour at the gym each day is only 4% of your day.  You are worth that!

Meal planning has helped me tremendously with sticking to my nutritional goals.  It takes some getting used to, but it helps me to stick to just about the same things for breakfast, mid-morning snack and lunch every day.  It can be boring, but it's easy and doesn't require much thought.  Dinner is the real challenge.  I try to grocery shop on the weekends with meals for the week in mind.  I stock up on lots of fruits and vegetables, chicken breasts, ground turkey and/or chicken, lean cuts of pork and / or beef (steak).  Things don't always go as planned, and sometimes my planned menu for dinner is changed.  When I fail to plan, my macros get all wacko and I over-do it either with calories, carbohydrates and / or fat every time.  At this point, it doesn't hurt me too much because I ride my bike so much that I can afford the calories.  I have to be cautious, as the bike season will end and I need to stick to my guidelines or I will gain weight.

So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
I Corinthians 10:31

The bottom line is this.  If you want to lose weight, if you want to improve your overall fitness levels, you have to stop making excuses and start thinking of yourself as being just as important as everyone and everything else.

Follow me on Instagram @tracoleman99

Planting Your Flag

Memorial Day in May, Flag Day in June and Independence Day in July...three days when Americans get excited about our nation's heritage and take great pride in our flag.

This got me to thinking about the importance of planting your flag in life. What is it you stand for? What do you want your life to say about you? What matters most to you?  If you have not figured this out yet, is this an obstacle preventing you from attaining your fitness goals?

This blog is about fitness and I want to stay true to this. Depression and anxiety lead to poor nutritional habits and an overall unhealthy lifestyle.  Having a sense of purpose, a mission in life, helps to manage depression and anxiety. (That said, I know some very fit people who have not yet "planted their flag," so please give me some wiggle room here.)

Of all the people who have shaped my life, I credit my father most with who I am. He guided me to develop a strong value system, work ethic, faith in God and to be goal oriented. He taught me that whatever I wanted to achieve, to develop a plan and make it happen. He taught me to always put God and family first and to serve as a way to show the light of Christ in me to others.

Me and Dad before Father - Daughter Dance.

He taught me to plant my flag.

My family, my career and helping others are what matter most to me.  This is where I find the most sense of self worth.  (Even this blog was started as a way to inspire others on their journey towards fitness.)  I did get lost along the way, completely neglecting care of self as part of my routine, which lead to me being out of control.  With the support of others, I am learning to take care of me, so I can better take care of others.

Wherever you are on your journey, I encourage you to plant your flag. For most people it is their career, but sometimes your passions in life do not always put a roof over your head and bread on the table. If you have an artistic flair and go to college to major in art, you may find yourself with an expensive degree and no job. While there are jobs in the industry, they are hard to come by and do not always pay top dollar. I find my need to help others is fulfilled both in my career and in the activities I participate. (I was the Women's Ministry Coordinator, the NHS Advisor, VBS Director, and Cub Scout Den Leader.)

Let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
Matthew 5:16

Fulfillment from your passions can be found outside of your career. If you love photography, you might enjoy that as a hobby, where a career may not land you enough income to support yourself. Don't misunderstand me. I am all about pursuing your dreams, but I am somewhat practical.  Everyone needs to declare, "This is what matters to me. And because of this, I am going to live my life this way." You will find a sense of satisfaction and self worth that is indescribable when you live your life to fulfill your purpose.

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever.  Do not forsake the work of your hands.
Psalm 138:8

Remember these tips: 

1. Take care of yourself - mind, body and spirit.

Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul.
3 John 1:2 (ESV)

2.  Take care of your relationships - the people you love need you as much as you need them.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:13 (NASB)

3.  Always seek God for direction. (This really should be first.) Regardless of what you believe or your level of faith, a relationship with God will give you peace in your decisions and clarity about your direction.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways, acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight.  
Proverbs 3:5-6

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Depriving yourself

I have been on and off diets for the past 33 years.  As soon as I hit puberty, I became mega concerned about the girth of my hips, the size of my thighs and my boobs that were cascading out of every bra my mother got for me.  I learned how to lose weight by starving myself.  When I was about 15 (or so), I started on Weight Watchers, where I learned to eat "three vegetables, two fruits, three fats, etc."  I went from a girls' size 14 to a women's size 10, where I fought to get into a Junior's size 9 (or 7, if I was lucky).  I had a pretty decent metabolism, I could eat most anything, go on 10-day diet, lose weight, and return to my normal eating habits.  The one diet I hated the most had us eating tuna with no mayo and beets.  I think there were other things in the diet, but it was so disgusting that I remember it most vividly.  In the 1990s, Atkins Diet became super popular, but I like my carbs too much so that was never for me.  This has been my life cycle.  Find a new diet, starve myself, lose weight, gain it back.  Repeat.  I used to exclaim to everyone how proud I am to be a Lifetime Member of Weight Watchers, an accomplishment I achieved in 2003.

All the labor of man is for his mouth, and yet the appetite is not filled.

Ecclesiastes 6:7 (ASV)

This is me, my senior year of high school.  The picture on the left was taken prior to my senior prom and the one on the right was taken on a visit to my grandparents' house in Florida.  I was very self-conscious of my appearance, thus the ruffle on the bathing suit and the "to the neck" lace on my prom dress.

Today, I proclaim that every diet I have ever been on, including Weight Watchers, did nothing to help me.  Nothing.  A lifetime of looking in the mirror, not being happy with what you see, starving yourself to lose weight, fixating on the numbers on the scale ... until eventually you just don't care.  That's largely how I let myself get to the point I was in 2013.  I couldn't see that anything I was doing or could do would result in a change.  I wanted to eat what I wanted to eat.  Ice cream, cookies and cake comforted me and were easy fixes to being hungry. As I got older, the weight did not come off from depriving myself.  In 2014, it took six weeks of doing things my own way to say, "I need help."  That's when I hired a personal trainer who tried to teach me the right way of doing things, but I was not a cooperative client.

For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

Romans 14:17 (ESV)

Through the years, I battled with my weight. Yo-yo dieting never helped.

It was a cognitive shift for me that really made me "click."  A week of crying after my trainer Mike died, getting to know a new trainer and having to make the decision to keep doing things my way or listen to the expert.  "If you want to lose weight, this is what you need to do," Dmitriy said.  And when I said, "I am not going to do that.  I know how to eat,"  I was on the receiving end of a difficult conversation when he told me, "The only way I'm going to be able to help you is if you do this..."  (I write about Mike here:  Mike Made Me Do It.  And Dmitriy here:  Dmitriy Made It Happen.)

The top left picture was taken while I was on Weight Watchers (again) and had lost over 20 lbs.  I was feeling good about myself at that point.  When I hurt my knee in the summer, all of the efforts I had made were lost and I gained all the weight back and then some.  At that point, I just did not care.

So what do I do?  I keep track of what I eat, within a certain calorie range - and I divide the calories into carbohydrates, protein and fat.  I have had to LEARN what foods are too high in carbs or too high in fat that I really should avoid or use up my quota too quickly.  I have had to practice, fail, and relearn.  I try to plan family meals at least the night before so I'm not scrambling to figure out what's for dinner when I get home from work.  Last week we were going to have pasta.  I had some homemade sauce in the freezer, so all I had to do was thaw that, boil pasta for the family and cook spaghetti squash for me.  Pressed for time, I didn't get to cook the squash, so I opted for some pasta.  One serving of pasta is 1/2 cup, which is 200 calories and 42 grams of carbs.  That is 28% of my entire carb allowance for one day, add spaghetti sauce and you're just about done for the day.  This is a crazy way to use my carbs.  What did I learn?  Tonight, when I did not have time to cook the spaghetti squash, I substituted zucchini instead and liked it oh so much better!  (Speaking of carbs...a slice of whole wheat bread is 90 calories and 17 grams of carbs - not a lot better, but at least the fiber will help satisfy your hunger a little.)

Listen to advice and accept discipline, and at the end you will be counted among the wise.

Proverbs 19:20

What I have learned is that depriving myself only frustrates me, makes me feel like I am sacrificing instead of living, and prevents me from keeping true to my goals for the long term.  I am not in this to lose 10 lbs. and gain it back.  I am in this to be healthy, to feel better, and to be fit.  I have to drop my arrogance and say, "I don't know.  I am learning."  The thing is, at this point my overall nutrition is pretty good and mostly balanced, so if I have a bad day, or if I eat a slice of pizza, my body is not going to hold onto every calorie and say, "Tracey is starving me, let's keep this yummy pizza and make her gain 10 lbs."  It does not work that way. 

Depriving yourself will not make you reach your goals and will not result in any sustained improvement.  You have to be willing to rethink dieting and weight loss.  Start calling it nutrition.  I posted this link on a previous blog entry, and I think it's worth reposting.  BodyBuilding.com has a great article, detailing practical guidelines for losing weight.  The article is called, "How to lose weight."  This is very similar to the nutrition plan I have, only my macros are spread out more equally. 

However, if you continue to make poor nutritional choices, you will not see the results you want.  You do have to change your eating habits, but you should not feel like you are starving, or that you are on a diet.  If I am hungry, I eat.  Now that I am riding my bike so much, I find my hunger increases significantly after a ride.  Cycling consumes a lot of calories, so I have given myself permission to eat more than my typical allotted calories (sometimes I eat a lot more).  I also have become a bit of a fanatic about the scale.  I don't get on it every day, but at least once a week.  It's a good way to measure if my eating habits are aligned or if I need to adjust them.

With the holiday weekend approaching, I know I am going to eat more than I usually do and I will probably not follow my macros to the letter.  This weekend is meant to be enjoyed, so I am ok with that.  I no longer live to eat, so I won't be eating cookies and chips hand over fist.  Truth is, I prefer fresh fruits and vegetables...and PEANUT BUTTER!  Oh how I love peanut butter.

If you are trying to lose weight, stop starving yourself.  Start thinking differently about your eating habits.  Stop dieting.  Start thinking about nutrition.