The Girl Picked Last

In front of the Massachusetts State House after the Ride to Remember, 2015.

My journey began on January 1, 2014 when I set out to lose weight and regain control of my life.  In February, 2015 I started this blog, where I have shared with you my story along the way.  Key to my fitness journey has been setting concrete goals.  Goal 1:  Lose weight - check.  Goal 2:  Rugged Maniac (2014) - check.  Goal 3:  Push-ups - check.  Goal 4:  Riding 100 miles on the Ride to Remember.

Brian and I at the State House in Boston.

My journey has been long and difficult at times.  I have had to overcome so many obstacles, I can't even begin to tell you.  The biggest obstacle I have had to conquer has been me.  My fears.  My insecurities.  My lack of confidence.  My anxiety.  Me.  As I've lost weight and people have seen me and said, "Tracey, you look amazing.  What did you do?" or "Tracey, you are such an inspiration." or "Tracey, how did you do it?  Can you help me?"  Despite this, inside of me, I have always doubted that I had it in me.

When I was a kid growing up, I didn't play organized sports.  I played outside with my friends.  We ran and played tag and hide and seek.  We made forts in the woods.  Went sledding until our fingers were frost bit.  We played.  And we played hard.  I had virtually no hand-eye coordination.  I could never throw a frisbee straight.  In school, whenever we had a school yard pick, I was always the last one picked.  Always.  It didn't matter what game we were playing, if it was kickball or something else, the team captains knew they couldn't rely on me because I was awful.  I always kicked the ball straight into the pitcher's arms or was too slow to make it to base.  In junior high, my dear friend played softball and her father was the coach.  He wanted me to learn how to play and encouraged me to join the team.  He practiced with me and spent time with me one on one to help me improve.  But I wasn't good.  I couldn't hit the ball and I couldn't catch either.  Out of pity, he put me in right field and played me the minimum he had to.  The team could count on me being out at bat because I was sure to strike out.  No matter what I did, I just was not good.

When I got to high school, I gave up on softball.  I tried out for cheerleading and didn't even make first cuts.  I practiced in March for track, but couldn't run more than a couple miles without stopping, so I never even tried out for the team.  I realized organized sports was not for me.

As an adult, I didn't really have any outdoor hobbies or interests.  If I was a member of a gym, I would go for a short while after we joined the gym or after New Years, or after one of the kids was born.  But I never stuck with it because I was too busy, too tired, or ...  I had one excuse or another.

When Joey was in Cub Scouts, my Assistant Den Leader brought us to various different hiking locations, where I developed an interest in hiking.  I never was fond of camping, but I did enjoy bringing my den on hikes (as long as Mr. Parent was leading the way).  Today, I continue to hike in some of the places he brought us.

The view from Peaked Mountain (My favorite hiking location!)  This was taken 9/12/2015.

When Mike died last year, I told Dmitriy that I wanted to do the Ride to Remember this year, but that I didn't think I could do it.  With arthritis in my knee, I physically did not think I was up for it.  Not to mention, I was fat and had little endurance or stamina.

I started riding in March.  My first two rides were horrible.  I went once on my old rickety bike and a second time on my son, Joey's bike.  Neither bike is a special road bike.  My old bike squeaked the entire time.  I was not in shape (for riding, anyway) and could not make it up one hill without pushing the bike up.  When I got my new bike in April, I started riding a little more often.  But work and school demands kept me from serious training.  In June, I started riding occasionally with the Competitive Edge group on Monday nights.  The first ride was grueling.  Our leader took us up Pease Road in East Longmeadow first and then Mountain Road a ladder type climb up Wilbraham Mountain.  It sucked.

1st ride of the season:  It was freezing and I couldn't even climb the hill near my house.  

Over the summer, I increased my riding.  I was averaging between 60 and 100 miles per week.  I was determined to meet my goal to do the Ride to Remember.  My husband told me how bad the hills were, so I tried to include as much climbing in my own training rides as I felt I could handle.  Some of my training rides were grueling.  One night I had such a bad head ache and felt so horrible that I thought I wasn't going to make it to the end of the ride.  I imagined what it would be like on R2R and I was afraid.  I begged my husband to come with me on this year's ride.  I told him I couldn't do it without him.  Who would be there for me if I failed?  In late July, I had to learn how to eat again.  I wasn't eating enough to fuel my rides.  I had no energy, my brain was in a fog.  I wanted to quit.  In August, I fell on one of my rides.  I hurt my tail bone and ended up with a concussion.  I was gripped with fear.  What if I fall on R2R?  What if I can't finish the ride?

During my concussion recovery, I couldn't function at all.  I went to see my chiropractor, who fixed me up quickly.  I swear by chiropractic care.  Dr. Brian Dixon is fantastic!

I desperately tried to put these negative thoughts out of my mind.  When they crept in, I said, "Stop."  I tried to put them in a box.  I kept riding.  I was counting down to the ride.  The excitement kept me going until the week before.  I realized, "Ok, the ride is in less than a week.  Counting down is only increasing your anxiety.  Just stop.  Look at today and get through today.  Don't think about the ride."

And then Thursday came.  My last class for my CAGS is on school finance.  I sat in class, listening to the professor talk about finance, listening to my classmates talk about different safety and security plans in their schools and how their schools use their resources to support the plan.  Repeatedly listening to the same story with a twist made my mind start to think about the ride.  I had a panic attack.  I texted Erica.  "I'm having a panic attack.  I'm trying not to cry."  She replied, "I will be there.  I'm dragging Billy out of bed too...what time do I have to be there and where can I park."  I love her.  Breathe.  Ok, It's going to be ok.

Then Friday came and this:  Feeling Loved.

She re-posted Liz's picture on Facebook Feeling loved!

The love I got from everyone at work helped tremendously.  I didn't cry for the rest of the day.  I felt pretty good too.  I even had a horrible phone call from someone in the afternoon.  It was a mean call from someone I love.  I was like, "Yeah.  Okay."  I hung up and thought to myself, "Bleep Bleep."  Don't let it get to you.

So Saturday came.  I slept through the night, no problem.  When craziness hit before the ride...read about that here:  Sneak Peek, it was my husband that was upset and I was the calm one.

Saturday was amazing.  It was just incredible.  Erica and Billy and my father came down to send us off.  Our friend Joe came to cheer for us when we were going up Boston Road.  My friend Katherine came and took pictures of us from the Eastfield Mall.   I can never fully express how much that said to me that they were there.  Their support gave me the extra boost of confidence to keep going all day.  It meant the world to me.

Erica took all these awesome pictures!!!  I love her!

Team Coleman:  Katherine grabbed this awesome picture of me and Brian riding by on Boston Road.  I love you, Katherine!

I did well all day.  I felt great.  I handled the hills just fine. I ate and drank at every rest stop to keep my nutrition up, so I did not grow tired.  I hate to say it, but it was easy.  My training rides were harder than the Ride to Remember.

Riding into Boston, going by the Citgo sign near Fenway, heading up the hill by the State House...I was overwhelmed with emotion.  I wanted to enjoy these moments and kept myself from crying.  I couldn't believe I did it.  I did it.  And it was easy.  When I saw my kids and David and Maria at the end, I felt so much pride and love.  I did it!  The girl picked last accomplished an impossible dream.

Here's an AWESOME YouTube video of this year's ride.  (I think you can see me in it a couple times, but it's hard to tell because it's either from the side or taken behind me.  We were all wearing the same clothes!)

Thanks to Mike for giving me the self-confidence to get started and keep going.  I hope you can see me.  I hope you are proud.  You made me do it!

Thanks to Dmitriy for helping me at every speed bump.  Without you, I would never have been able to do it.  You believed in me when I didn't believe in myself.  You made it happen.

Do you not know?  Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth.  He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom.  He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.  Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
Isaiah 40:28-31

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Sneak peek

I did it!!!

If you did not have a chance to read it yet, make sure you check out what my school did for me on Friday:  Feeling Loved.  It's a quick vlog / photo blog of how they showered me with love!

Yesterday was the big day! What I've been working towards all year. We spent the night at my husband's family's house in Nahant, so I'll write more in a separate post. (Maria took such good care of us and Dave just brought me a coffee from Dunkin Donuts. I love them!!!)

Here is a sneak peak of our day:

Oh, what an adventure we had getting the bikes down there! My car battery died and we had to put the bikes on Brian's truck. Got down there and realized we forgot our water bottles. Thank God for Mitch, who came back with them just in time.  I was Number 59. 

You can't begin to imagine the feeling. There were over 300 riders, all dressed in matching  blue Ride to Remember shirts.  As it was a unity ride, we stayed together as a group the entire ride, a constant sea of blue. We had police escorts the entire ride. People came out to cheer for us the entire ride. It meant so much. 

Brian and I at the first rest stop. I took full advantage of every rest stop along the way.  Restroom first! (I gotta go, now!) And lots of water, Gatorade and nutrition. There was all different kinds of food. I enjoyed a little something at every stop.

It really was an amazing day. I felt strong all day.  My legs were strong, my energy was good. Towards the end, my arms, wrists and elbows were sore, probably from holding my handlebars so much and so tight all day.  With that many riders, all close together, we were on our brakes a lot.  There were several rider crashes. (Fortunately not me.) 

Regrouping.

I'll write part two in a separate post. This is just a sneak peek.

You MUST check out this YouTube video of this year's ride:

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Feeling Loved

It's the last few hours before our ride.

I've been so busy this week, I have not had time to post anything.  I stopped counting down to the ride because the anticipation of it being so imminent was adding to my anxiety.  Last night I needed a talk off the cliff.  Then this morning on my way to work, when I saw it was 7:00 a.m., I got super emotional and had to fight back tears.  "This is it, this time tomorrow."  I pulled it together and walked into the office just fine.  Here's what the girls at work did for me:

Wonder Woman!

And then Liz brought me a present, which made me totally cry!!!

This is a quick :07 second shot...

Here I'm trying to hold it in!!!  I love you, Liz!

Not only that, but the principal sent out an email last night to everyone BUT me and asked them to wear blue to show support of my ride.

And they did!

At the end of the day, Ms. Femia made an announcement, wishing me luck on my journey and sending good wishes from the entire High School of Commerce.

I am blessed.❤️💙💚💛💜

As the nerves creep in, I keep putting them in the box.  Don't go there.  Just keep your eyes forward.

I have to drink LOTS of water and eat today.

I'll post pictures and tell you all about the ride soon.

Tomorrow is the day!

For a sneak peak of how the day went, make sure you read this:  Sneak Peek.  It's a quick look at how my day went.

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Wonder Women Fitness for Life

I am SOOOO excited!  Today we go live with our fitness support group.

This group is for anyone interested in living a healthier lifestyle who would like some support along the way.

I have found that having a support system is critical to achieving my goals, to sticking with it through trials, to getting back to the program when I fall down, and to keeping my motivation level high.  So, join our group!

We will not follow any particular nutritional plan.  I am recommending everyone use MyFitnessPal to keep track of their calories.  MyFitnessPal sets nutritional goals - carbohydrates, protein and fat within your calorie limit.  It also adds to your calorie goal if you workout, so you are not limited to the low calorie guide if you are exercising.  I'm getting the hang of it and I like it!

We are committed to changing our lifestyle - to becoming healthy and fit.  In so much as that is our general goal, every member will be challenged to set two fitness goals and work to accomplish these.

I am encouraging everyone to do a minimum of 30-minutes per day / exercise, with three 60-minute workouts within one week.  It might seem like a lot at first, but you can do it!!!  Believe in yourself.

If you want to join our group, you can search for us on Facebook:  Wonder Women Fitness for Life.  If you can't find the group that way, you can friend me on Facebook:  Tracey Pippin Coleman and I will add you to the group.

We start Week One today!

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Sharing My Story In Public

The Ride to Remember is next Saturday.  Nine days.  (Eight days, six hours, forty-five minutes to be exact.)

My Hubby and his friend before R2R 2013

I've talked the ride being a big fitness goal for me, but I haven't talked too much about the ride itself. The Ride to Remember is a bike ride to honor and remember fallen police officers.  In 2012, Springfield Police Officer Kevin Ambrose was killed in the line of duty.  My husband is a Springfield Police Officer, so Officer Ambrose's death was very hard on him and hit very close to home for me.  In 2013, the department organized the first Ride to Remember in honor of Officer Ambrose and Officer Jose Torres, a Westfield police officer who died in the line of duty shortly after Officer Ambrose.  This year will be the third Ride to Remember, continuing the tradition of honoring fallen officers.

This is a charity ride.  Riders pay a fee, which goes to support the Law Enforcement Memorial in Boston.  This year, there have been several organized fundraisers to cover the costs of the ride and to support the renovation of the Michael Schiavina and Alain Beauregard Memorial Soccer Field.  Springfield Police Officers Schiavina and Beauregard were killed in the line of duty in 1985.

Before

After

My school is planning a fundraiser next Wednesday to raise money for the cause.  The plan is to sell blue ribbons to the public.  I will go with them in my Ride to Remember clothes.  Monday we plan to stay after school to make the ribbons.  Today I went to classrooms to tell them my story and ask for their help in making the ribbons.

My story.  How do I tell a group of high school kids my story in five minutes or less and convince them that I need their help to support the cause?  

I organized some pictures, showed them before pictures of me, told them about Mike.  With the first class, I got choked up, had to take a minute to collect myself.  (Geesh, Tracey, pull it together!!)  I told them about doing the Rugged Maniac last year and telling Mike that I want to do the Ride to Remember.  Told them that I never really imagined I would be able to do it, but that I have been training for it and am ready.  So many of them volunteered to stay after on Monday.  I was blessed.

I showed them these pictures of me...before and after

Mike Made Me Do It
Mike helped me to believe in myself.  When he died, I was devastated.
His death affected a change in me, which has pushed me to accomplish my goals.
I want his life to matter:  to me, to others, as well.
He inspired me to overcome my obstacles.

 I think my story got to a few of the kids.  I heard their reactions.  "Miss, what happened to him?"  "Miss, he was so young!"  "Miss, you're mad skinny now."  "Miss, how did you lose so much weight?"  "Miss..."

I'm not sure how or if I will be able to share my story with more people.  My audience here is limited, but part of me wants to sing it from the rooftop.  This is my story.

Nine days until the Ride to Remember.  Nine days.

A pic from Monday's ride.  I did a metric century with the Competitive Edge group.  It was a good ride.  It was HOT, HOT, HOT, but I felt good.  I'm ready.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and  a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4

I hope you dance:  Lee Ann Womack

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Questions for you:
What's your favorite inspirational song?

What one goal or dream do you wish you could do?  What's keeping you from accomplishing it?

Leave your answers in the comments below.

"A Calorie is Not a Calorie"

While I use my gym's food journal, I do subscribe to MyFitness Pal.  They send some great recipes and articles about weight loss and some great exercises for people at both beginning and intermediate levels of fitness.  Today's email said, "What are the two diet factors that cause weight gain?"  Since I still feel like I am new to this whole fitness journey (exercise and nutrition as a lifestyle), I always read those kind of eye catchers.

Essentially, the article, "2 Science-Backed Strategies to Avoid Long-Term Weight Gain" talks about the value of protein and how glycemic index (GI) affects your blood sugar.  I haven't talked about glycemic index here, but I did write a blog about protein and I felt it was worth revisiting.  You can read it here:  "Protein."

What I like about this article is that is summarizes the results of a longitudinal study, so it is science based. (It's not, "This is what I think, try it.")  What did they find?  They found two things:  

1)  Protein: nuts and nut butters, fish, yogurt and low-fat cheese result in weight loss, while consumption of red meats and processed meats result in weight gain.
2)  Refined Carbohydrates: white bread, sugar, soda (and even potatoes) have a high GI and result in weight gain. 

So, my friends, PLEASE NOTE:  they did NOT find that fat results in weight gain.  Essentially, a calorie is not a calorie.

Forgive me while I rant for a moment.  This is why I hate Weight Watchers so much.  Count your points, eat what you want as long as your points equal out in the end.  You don't have to learn to eat healthy, just count your points, lose your weight, reach your goal and then "have at it."  I know there are people out there who love Weight Watchers.  How many of you have gone on Weight Watchers and had success?  After you went off Weight Watchers, how did that turn out for you?  My point, exactly.  I used to say, with pride, "I am a lifetime member of Weight Watchers, I know how to eat."  Yeah, wrong.  Just like a calorie is not a calorie.  A point is not a point.  You need to learn how to eat, how what you eat affects your overall nutrition and adjust it accordingly.  It takes TIME.  It is a learning process.  

On that note, I want to challenge you to a couple of things.  

ONE:  please DON'T set a goal weight as your magic number to work towards.  This may seem contra-intuitive, but I think it can be destructive to do so.  Think more about how you feel physically and how you feel about the way you look.  Do you like the way you look naked in the mirror?  Do you have more energy?  Are you aching and in pain?  Can you honestly say you feel as good as you can?  Don't stop because you've lost 10, 20, or 30 lbs.  It's not a finish line.  It's a lifestyle.

Recently, several people have thanked me for helping to motivate them in their weight loss.  One said she lost 8 lbs.  Another had lost 50 lbs. and was able to thoroughly enjoy her summer.  "I've gained some of the weight back, but I'm not worried about it.  I'll get back on it."  This troubles me.  Fitness - exercise and nutrition should NOT be a goal to reach, only for you to turn around and go back to your old way of eating and living.

TWO:  Find someone to help you be accountable.  If I have a bad day nutritionally (which I do sometimes), I don't take a week off my nutrition plan and then say, "Oh, I gained 5 lbs., it's okay."  No, I say, "Come on, kid, you got this.  Back to the grind.  You are NOT going back to the way things were."  This is why I like having a personal trainer.  I see him every week and he asks me how I am doing.  While we only have weigh-ins once / month, I weigh myself at least every week (usually every day), so I tell him, "Dmitriy, I'm having a bad week.  This is what's going on."  And he helps me to adjust what I'm doing, to get back on program.  He keeps me accountable.  (Read about Dmitriy here:  Dmitriy Made It Happen.)  I'm not suggesting you hire a personal trainer.  (If you are interested in this, message me in the comment section below and I'll give you information about how to go about it.)  What I am suggesting is that you find someone to help you be accountable.  Use MyFitnessPal and connect with your friends on the app so you can cheer each other on with your progress.  

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor:  If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.  But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up."
Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

If there are enough people interested, I will start a Fitness group on Facebook and we can use this to help each other on the journey.  The group will be strictly for fitness - tips and strategies for nutrition and exercise.  Message me if this is something you'd like to do and I'll set it up.

Finally, I've written about this before, but exercise and nutrition is all about Commitment.  If you want to make a change in your life, ask yourself if you are committed to whatever it takes to be successful.  What's worse?  Sitting back, doing nothing, waiting for something to change, letting life go by and your existence to continue?  OR  Stepping out, taking steps to change, taking risks an seeing what happens.  Commitment means finding a way around your obstacles.  It means being determined to learn and improve, to be resilient.  

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Questions for you:
Are you interested in more information about personal training?
Would you be interested in joining a private Facebook Group about fitness (nutrition & exercise)?
Answer in the comments below.

What is an A-

It's all about Macros. 

I follow flexible dieting, and carb-cycle on the days I ride more than 25 miles.  Nutritionally and physically, August was a rough month for me.   My stomach felt horrible most of the month and I couldn't really figure out how to fix the problem.  I thought it was a reaction to something in my diet, but chances are it's a combination of lots of things.

That said, I have done my best to keep track of my food  and log everything in the gym's food journal.  Even WITH my concussion.  Even WITH my stomach pain.  Yesterday when I logged into the gym's nutrition journal, my nutrition grade was a B-.  A B-!!!  What the heck is that?  Today I logged in and my nutrition grade is an A-.  An A-!!!  No, no, no, no!  I am Wonder Woman.  I log my food every day.  I'm a member of the A+ club, NOT the A- club and certainly NOT the B- club.  What's that???

WHAT???   This Week's Grade A-
WHAT is that????

Ok, I think it's definitely time to switch to My Fitness Pal.

Have I ever told you how competitive I am?  Have you gotten the picture that I am an over achiever?  (How has my husband put up with me all these years?)

I think I am most upset about my badge of honor being ripped from the wall of the gym.  There is NO B- or A- club. If I am going to have my Wonder Woman taken off the wall, it's going to be because I start using My Fitness Pal, NOT because the stupid tracker has decided to punish me for carb-cycling.  I mean, geesh Louise!  The nerve.

Today I went apple picking with my godson.  He and his mom came over after and we had a picnic on the deck, followed by a campfire and S'Mores.  I planned for this all day, allowing the extra carbs for my S'Mores.  I still came up short on calories, but I'm not hungry and off to bed for me.

Favorite part of summer is sitting by the campfire.

S'Mores:  When you plan for a treat like this, it doesn't really mess up your macros.  These were delicious!

A-!!!  WHAT is that?

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Questions for you:  

What was the best part of your weekend so far?

What's kind of nutrition plan do you follow?

Answer in the comments below.