Remember the Ride

Wow, what a week I've had!  I blinked an it was Sunday already.

At the Massachusetts State House after the Ride to Remember

Last Saturday was the Ride to Remember and Sunday was a recovery day.

Went shopping Sunday afternoon and bought this pretty blue glass globe to replace a vase Leia knocked over and broke.  The globe is both unique and pretty.

Went to the Big E on Monday night with Brian and our friend Karen.  Worked late on Tuesday.  Went to the Big E again on Wednesday with my friend Liydia.

100 Years of the Big E

The Wine & Cheese Barn at The Big E feature wineries from across New England.  Wine tasting used to be one of my favorite things to do.  While I do appreciate fine wines. I don't drink like I used to, that's for sure.  

Worked late again on Thursday.  Friday was Friday.  

Got in a good workout Thursday night.  Leg day!!!  

Yesterday we did the Rugged Maniac and blink!  Here we are...Sunday again. 

After the Rugged Maniac
Fun!!!  Making fitness fun is a sure way to find enjoyment on your journey.  What's your passion?  Not sure, get out there and try some things out.  Start a new hobby.  See what you love and do it!

As promised, I want to share with you my experiences doing the Ride to Remember this year.  The day was amazing.  The weather was perfect.  We couldn't have had a better day.  And I'm here to tell you what an amazing difference a year makes.  One year and I'm stronger, more confident, less anxious and a whole lot less wound up about it.

Riding in Boston.  The thrill and excitement are hard to describe.

I'm actually not sure I'm stronger than I was a year ago.  My shoulder injury has set me back tremendously.  I re-injured my shoulder the Tuesday before the Ride to Remember, so I was in pain all day.  As I write this, it is throbbing.  But strength can be measured in other ways, and for that, I am convinced I am stronger.

I was number 56.  They wrote my number on my leg upside down, so it looked like a weird 95 I guess.  Not sure if you can see how big my calves are, but seriously, they are rock solid.  I had to go up a size on my capris this year because the size 4's cut me off at the calf and they were very uncomfortable.  Even the size 6's were tight at the calf, but the size 8's were falling off me at the waist.  

If you are a regular reader, you know I've been experiencing some personal struggles lately.  I am starting to find the sun again, but the pain has marked my training this year.  I have had to reach deep to be able to see my way on my path, to struggle to be able to hear my new voice so I am not drowned by the sea of self doubt that once was my routine.  My trip to Florida at the beginning of September was restorative for me.  I feel like the clouds are finally lifting and I can start to come out of my shell again.  It's not been easy and I'm still poking my head out a little at a time.

I love my Aunt Kelly so much.  She is such a blessing to me!

In July I started a new diet and fitness regimen.  I did really well with it, lost over 10 lbs. and was looking super lean.

Ha!  Ha!  You won't be seeing another bikini picture of my any time soon.

But the nutrition plan was ultra low on the carbs and when I started riding my bike again, I had to throw the diet out the window.  Last year I got very sick not eating enough.  This year, I was not making that mistake again.  And so I ate...as much of pretty much whatever I wanted.  I did not lose any weight, but I didn't gain any either.  The week before the ride, I was on a carbohydrate binge.

Friday's breakfast, lunch and dinner!  Carbs, anyone?
Why do you need so many carbs when you ride?  Carbohydrates provide your body with energy and help you to replace the glycogen it burns when riding your bike.

This was the fourth year of Ride to Remember.  The ride pays homage to the lives of Massachusetts law enforcement officers who have died in the line of duty.  Remembering their sacrifice is the primary goal.  For all the riders, there is a fitness challenge to meet as well.  When I did it the first time, not only was it a major fitness goal, I also wanted to honor my trainer Mike who died the previous November.  I was filled with self-doubt and my anxiety had me reeling.  This year was different.  It was all about me.  I didn't do it to make anyone else proud.  I didn't have the self-doubt or fear that I struggled with before.  I knew I would be able to do it.  Right up until we got to the State House in Boston, I never doubted it.  I would not say that I was arrogant or prideful, on the contrary, I was humbled to honor the lives of the men and women who paid the ultimate sacrifice protecting and serving the community.

After the ride, Massachusetts Governor Charlie Baker spoke to us.  For once, a public official didn't say something to put police officers down, rather he actually gave a meaningful tribute to thank law enforcement officers for putting their lines on the line every time they go to work.  That's the reality.  He is standing by the memorial, which you can't see because of all the people.  But it holds the names of fallen Massachusetts police officers.  It truly is remarkable.

I will do it again next year.  I am hoping to inspire and motivate more people to join us.  It is a cause worth riding for and a challenge worth meeting.  If you think you can't do it, just tell yourself, "If Tracey could do it, so can I."  Two years ago, I walked with a limp.  My knee was in constant pain.  I pushed myself to work through the physical limitations and trained hard to do the ride.  I bought a good bike, but not one that was out of my means.  I rode two - three times per week and made sure I was training for both hills and distance.  This year was different because I knew what to do.  I knew I had it in me.  You can too, if you want.  Just dig deep and believe.  You are stronger than  you think you are!

This!
This view makes it all worth while.  The hours of training.  The year long anticipation that leads up to this moment when you ride by the Citgo sign near Fenway and you know you've done what you set out to do.  You have accomplished the unimaginable.   There is nothing like it.

See more pictures here:  Oh, What a Day!

Read about last year's ride here:  The Girl Picked Last

Coming soon:  Body Beautiful

Questions for you (answer in the comment section below):
What's your favorite outdoor activity?  Why do you like it so much?  Who do you do it with?

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Oh What a Day!

Yesterday was the Ride to Remember 2016

We left Springfield, MA at about 7:00 a.m.  It was 102 miles to the Massachusetts State House, arriving shortly after 5:00 p.m.  We had a couple breaks during the day, so our actual riding time was  a little over eight hours.

I will write more about this year's experience, but I wanted to give you a peak at our day.

Dad came down to send us off.  I really appreciated him being there.

A sea of blue...this is where we started.

We had six rest stops along the way, where we were able to hydrate, get some nutrition and...

Use the restroom.  At Boston College, the only rest rooms available were the ones on the Peter Pan buses that came with us.  I had to go soooo bad.  Yikes!

Our ride was great all day!  Seriously, I had plenty of energy.  I felt good.  But the last few miles were the most exhilarating.  Look at the Prudential building off in the distance!  So awesome!

Boston Strong!  That's right!

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

My riding buddy, Joe.  He and my husband did the ride together the first year.
Brian did it last year and said, "This is not for me."  So Joe & I rode together all day.  It was a good great ride.

We did it!!!  We made it!  And I felt great.

There is so much to say about the day and I promise to write more and tell you about this year's experience.  This morning I am exhausted.  My shoulder was in excruciating pain last night.  It's sore today, but I feel better.  I Stay tuned...

Body Beautiful

I'm working on a post about body image, and I'm hoping you'll give me some feedback for the post.  Please answer the survey above, or check it out here:  What Would You Change?   You can email me your answers if you like.

Questions for you (answer in the comment section below):
Have you ever dreamed the impossible and made that dream come true?  What was your dream?  How did you make it happen?
Or
Do you have a dream that really means a lot to you to accomplish?  What's keeping you from making it happen?

Subscribe to new posts!  When a new post is added, you will receive an email notice so you can check it out.  I promise:  no SPAM and I won't share your email address with anyone.  Look at the top right side of the page to subscribe.  

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Sharing My Story In Public

The Ride to Remember is next Saturday.  Nine days.  (Eight days, six hours, forty-five minutes to be exact.)

My Hubby and his friend before R2R 2013

I've talked the ride being a big fitness goal for me, but I haven't talked too much about the ride itself. The Ride to Remember is a bike ride to honor and remember fallen police officers.  In 2012, Springfield Police Officer Kevin Ambrose was killed in the line of duty.  My husband is a Springfield Police Officer, so Officer Ambrose's death was very hard on him and hit very close to home for me.  In 2013, the department organized the first Ride to Remember in honor of Officer Ambrose and Officer Jose Torres, a Westfield police officer who died in the line of duty shortly after Officer Ambrose.  This year will be the third Ride to Remember, continuing the tradition of honoring fallen officers.

This is a charity ride.  Riders pay a fee, which goes to support the Law Enforcement Memorial in Boston.  This year, there have been several organized fundraisers to cover the costs of the ride and to support the renovation of the Michael Schiavina and Alain Beauregard Memorial Soccer Field.  Springfield Police Officers Schiavina and Beauregard were killed in the line of duty in 1985.

Before

After

My school is planning a fundraiser next Wednesday to raise money for the cause.  The plan is to sell blue ribbons to the public.  I will go with them in my Ride to Remember clothes.  Monday we plan to stay after school to make the ribbons.  Today I went to classrooms to tell them my story and ask for their help in making the ribbons.

My story.  How do I tell a group of high school kids my story in five minutes or less and convince them that I need their help to support the cause?  

I organized some pictures, showed them before pictures of me, told them about Mike.  With the first class, I got choked up, had to take a minute to collect myself.  (Geesh, Tracey, pull it together!!)  I told them about doing the Rugged Maniac last year and telling Mike that I want to do the Ride to Remember.  Told them that I never really imagined I would be able to do it, but that I have been training for it and am ready.  So many of them volunteered to stay after on Monday.  I was blessed.

I showed them these pictures of me...before and after

Mike Made Me Do It
Mike helped me to believe in myself.  When he died, I was devastated.
His death affected a change in me, which has pushed me to accomplish my goals.
I want his life to matter:  to me, to others, as well.
He inspired me to overcome my obstacles.

 I think my story got to a few of the kids.  I heard their reactions.  "Miss, what happened to him?"  "Miss, he was so young!"  "Miss, you're mad skinny now."  "Miss, how did you lose so much weight?"  "Miss..."

I'm not sure how or if I will be able to share my story with more people.  My audience here is limited, but part of me wants to sing it from the rooftop.  This is my story.

Nine days until the Ride to Remember.  Nine days.

A pic from Monday's ride.  I did a metric century with the Competitive Edge group.  It was a good ride.  It was HOT, HOT, HOT, but I felt good.  I'm ready.

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and  a time to dance.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2, 4

I hope you dance:  Lee Ann Womack

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Questions for you:
What's your favorite inspirational song?

What one goal or dream do you wish you could do?  What's keeping you from accomplishing it?

Leave your answers in the comments below.

In a Fog

The Ride to Remember is in TWO weeks!!!  Unknowingly, we all wore our R2R gear.  I wore my jacket until it got too warm and  the guys wore their shirts.  

August was NOT the greatest month for me. It was one thing or another.  September started with a bang.

I'd been having some serious headaches at night lately.

The kind you can't lift your head up.

Throbbing across the right side of my head into my temple.

Let me just close my eyes for a minute and I will be ok.

Add some dizziness and mental fatigue for good measure.

This is how I was ending my nights every day for close to a week.  
I thought it was stress.

Monday was the first day of school.

I woke up Tuesday morning with shooting pains so bad I thought I needed to go to the e.r. I got up, walked around for a bit. It was not easy to move. Coffee. Shower. Advil.  By 6:30, I felt like I could make it to work and would call the doctor when the office opens.

Saw the PA who did a neurological assessment, but was concerned because I hit my head when I fell two weeks ago. Sent me for a CT scan, but told me she thought it was probably a concussion. Gave me a 2-page list of things to avoid:

• No work 
• No driving 
• No exercise
• No riding a bike
• No using computers 
• No TV
• No texting 
• The list went on...

Apparently no living.

I was upset, but in so much pain that I knew I had to give myself time to recover.

Went back to work. (I don't listen to instructions well.) When I got home, I crashed. I laid on the couch, dozing on and off until bed time.

The cat would NOT leave me alone.

Wednesday: Repeat of Tuesday (minus doctor's visit and CT scan)

When I got home from work Wednesday, I didn't move from the couch until I went to bed.

Thursday:  woke up and was feeling somewhat better. Class Thursday night.  Wasn't sure how I would make it through. Solution?  Power nap after work. I made it through class. Got home...crashed on the couch.

Today (Friday): I am still not feeling myself 100%, but the pain is manageable with OTC meds (Excedrin Migraine is a miracle drug). 

I saw the chiropractor.

Seriously - why didn't I call him right after my fall?  I wouldn't be in the shape I am if I'd seen him two weeks ago.  He promised he will fix me up so I can to the Ride to Remember in two weeks.

I went to the gym after work.  Even though I've felt horrible, I've been missing the gym.  The satisfaction of working out, leaving feeling both fatigued and pumped at the same time. It's hard to explain unless you work out, to know exactly what I mean. It wasn't a great workout.  No head ache or fatigue, but I had some equilibrium issues, so I had to take it really easy.

I want to ride my bike so badly. I can feel the wind and smell the asphalt, the hay, the manure.  The plan is to head out tomorrow with Brian for an easy ride on the Southwick trail.

This is an apple tree from my ride Sunday morning.

Pizza for dinner.  Carbs loading for tomorrow's ride.  Umm, yeah, that's a good excuse to have pizza, right?   (Update:  Pic above is from Saturday's ride.  We went 51 miles, with a 14 MPH pace.  Went with my husband and his BFF.  I didn't push myself too hard, and felt good about the ride.  Weather was perfect.)

 After dinner, I headed out for some shopping.  I'm trying to gradually add to my fall wardrobe so the cost doesn't hit me all at once.  I have some coupons for Kohl's and wanted to get some tops.  I tried a few on, in styles I used to wear. But my boobs are so small and I'm so thin that they looked completely ridiculous on me.  I could not find one top.  Not one.  I need help shopping. 

I used to LOVE Kohl's because I could always find something that fit me.  These pants, a Size 6 were too big.  I'm holding the waist out here, but I seriously had a big bubble butt with them on.  I looked ridiculous.  (Erica LOVED my shirt when I sent her this picture.)

The ride is in two weeks.  I will be ready.  I'll tell you the truth.  I should be resting.  I should be taking it easy.  I should.  But the desire to push myself is stronger than the desire to rest.  (Update:  Today's ride went well.  I am pretty tired and am taking it easy for the rest of the day.)

In all seriousness, though...

Concussions are no joke.  My fall was nearly three weeks ago and I did not develop symptoms for nearly two weeks.  I thought my head ache was from stress.  It was the dizziness and the confusion that had me worried.  When the pain intensified so badly, I was worried that something serious was wrong.  Since my fall, I've been weeping nearly every day.  I did not know what was wrong with me - I thought it was stress and hormones.  The Physician's Assistant told me that irritability and change in mood is typical for a concussion.  That was a relief.  I thought I was going crazy.

The ONLY treatment for concussion is rest.  You can't mess around with it.  I AM listening to my body and I am only doing what I feel I can do.  (I'll admit that working has been a struggle at times this week.) 

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My questions for you (answer in the commend section below):

What GOOD thing(s) happened this week?

What plans do you have this holiday weekend?

No Sweating Today

I don't want to mess up my hair!

I really like when I do my hair and it comes out kinky like this.

This week!!!  Let me tell you, I thought last week was stressful.  This week has been a whole lot of crazy.  

 

Sunday's ride photo:  the farm with the beautiful horses.  I just love to stop and admire them when I ride.

Sunday I went out for a ride on my bike and had a crash (completely my fault).  Fell on my head and my bum, so my tail bone has been sore all week.

I could barely move Sunday night.  The cat had to lie right next to me to make me feel better.

Tuesday night I got together with one of my former students.  Had her over for dinner and took her and her baby out for ice cream.  Her baby is so sweet and so well behaved.  I am so proud of her, she is such a good mom!

Lauren is such a good baby!  Her mom is an amazing mom!

Wednesday morning I woke up at 2:30 a.m. with excruciating stomach pains, my stomach the size of a small basketball.  I think I'm reacting to either the re-introduction of gluten to my diet or a change in the brand of protein powder.  I did some research and it could be either.  So not only did my bum hurt from the accident on Sunday, but I wanted to throw up all day. 

Can't decide if it's the gluten or the protein powder leaving me feeling like my stomach is a basketball. It's so very uncomfortable and downright painful!

I had a session with Dmitriy on Wednesday afternoon.  I sent him a text message, "I have graduation tonight, so no sweating today."  He responded, "Ok, good luck with the no sweating part.  It's really humid and I'm guessing we're gonna be working out.  Hah!"  My response, "Seriously, no sweating.  I have to do my hair before I come in because I'm going straight to graduation."  When I saw him, he was like, "What does that mean?  What am I supposed to do about that?  That's like going swimming and saying you don't want to get wet."  Ok, I get it.  But seriously, I have bone straight hair and when it gets damp, it falls and is ruined.  I did sweat, my hair did fall, I had to suck it up.

So...graduation.  I was the coordinator for one of the district's summer programs.  Have I ever told you how much I absolutely LOVE my job?  I think it's because I love to see the change in my students, how they grow up and mature.  My students know I care about them, I never give up on them.  The tougher the case, the more connected I feel to them.  One of my students gave the graduation speech on Wednesday night.  In 2013, she dropped out of high school, and came back to school in September of last year.  Between her regular day classes, Night School, Credit Recovery and Summer School, she managed to make it across the stage in one year.  I convinced her to give the speech because I believe she is an inspiration.  Her determination inspires me and I knew the other students would be able to relate to her.  She hit a home run and the students cheered for her.  She nailed it.  I was / am so proud of her.

This is Ashley.  She is truly an inspiration!  I am so proud of her accomplishments and I know she will go far in the future.  (And by the way, my hair was a lot fluffier before I sweat at the gym and it flopped!)

Today (Thursday), all the teachers came back to school for professional development.  I didn't get much done all day.  "Can I talk to you about my schedule?"  "Oh my God, look at you!  What did you do to lose all that weight?"  (I haven't really lost any weight since June.)  "Tracey, you really don't need to lose any more weight.  Stop now."  I do enjoy seeing the teachers after a few months of not seeing them, but I can't get anything done if I can't work on my students' schedules and address the issues that have arisen since we locked in the master schedule.  Sigh.

After school I went for a quick ride on my bike. little did I know how quick it would be.  About four miles in, I popped another spoke and my rear wheel would not move at all.  I pulled over to look at it, I needed to at least get back home. Some other riders stopped to help, but we couldn't fix it.  I had to get a ride from a friend.  Thank God for friends!!!  

When I brought my bike in on Monday for them to look it over after my accident, I had them re-strap the handlebars.  My favorite color!!!  But today's ride was a complete fail, as the broken spoke made it impossible to ride. 

Tomorrow is Friday! I have so much work to do to prepare for school opening.  After work, bring on the sweat! I plan to ride my bike (I got a new wheel already), followed by a workout at the gym.  I don't care if I mess up my hair!

My working station while my bum is sore.  I can stand up or lean on the stool.

So, in spite of two rough weeks, I am even more determined.  The Ride to Remember is in less than one month.  I count every challenge as a learning experience to better prepare me for the big day.  Figuring out how to get in enough riding now that I'm back to work full time and the sun is setting earlier is another challenge I get to figure out.

Brothers and sisters I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it.  But one thing I do:  Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 3:13-14

Follow me on Instagram @tracoleman99

Questions for you:
How has your week been?
What interesting things happened to you this week?
Any suggestions for dealing with the bloating?

Leave your answers in the comment section below.  

Passion

Throughout my life, I have enjoyed "dabbling" in this or that, but I would never have described any one hobby or interest as my passion.

Ready for a ride...

Last year, I dared to say I want to do the Ride to Remember (R2R) this year.  It was a long term fitness goal for me.  Saying it out loud scared me.  When I was a kid, I rode my bike everywhere because I did not have a car.  I remember my parents flipped out when they found out how far and to where I was riding.  When I was in college, a man from my church died in a cycling accident.  He was hit by a drunk driver.  I did not ride my bike again until after I had Mitch.  I knew it was a good way to lose weight.  I used to take him on the bike trail in Northampton after work.  We had such good times.  When Joey was born it was a lot harder to ride together because Mitch was on his little bike and Joey was tiny.  It just did not work.  And that was the end of my cycling.

This was probably one of the last rides we went out on as a family.

Until this year...I remember my first ride this year.  I did not have my new bike yet.  We had a miserable winter and it was a beautiful Sunday afternoon.  Dmitriy saw me at the gym and was like, "Get out there.  It's nice out."  And so I did.

Read about this in Dmitriy Made It Happen.

It was freezing!  I thought I was in shape, but the 15 mile loop I did kicked my butt.  Still, it felt good to get it done, even though I had to walk up the last hill near my house.  I was glad to get out there and get riding. The R2R was in about six months.  I had to figure out how to ride long distances and increase my speed and not be in agony afterwards.  It was going to be a challenge, but one I was stoked to beat.

Today is 45 days until R2R.  I'm averaging about 100 miles / week on my bike.  I am disappointed if I can't ride my bike and I think about how I am going to make it happen when I am busy.  Sgt. Delaney posted this YouTube video on Facebook.  THIS really sums it up how I feel about riding:

I would say it's passion.  I love it.  I love how I feel on a long ride.  I love the feeling of the hot sun on your skin, but the cool breeze from riding that keeps you going.  I love the smells and scenery.  You can go for a nice ride in the car and enjoy the scenery, but nothing compares to riding your bike.

I try to take a picture on every ride to help remember the journey.
These horses were out feeding the other night when I was out riding with my husband and I just had to take their picture.  How often do you do that when you're driving in the car? 

If you are on a journey towards becoming fit, I highly recommend endeavoring in an outdoor activity that keeps you in nature.  Hiking, cycling, swimming, skiing - anything that encourages you to move your body and gets you outdoors.  You never know where you will find your niche...try something new.  You may surprise yourself!  I LOVE hiking, but cycling definitely rules since all I have to do is gear up and get on my bike.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men.

Colossians 3:23

Follow me on Instagram @tracoleman99

What's your passion?  Do you have something you love to do?  
Do you look for opportunities to go outdoors?  What do you do that makes you happy?  Answer in the comment section below.

Staying the Course

The Ride to Remember (R2R) is in exactly 50 days.  I am so excited and nervous at the same time.  A novice cyclist, this will be my first Century ride.  In looking forward, I can’t help but think about how far I’ve come and what I’ve been through over the past several months.

Family vacation to Disney World.  Thanksgiving, 2014

A few months later and I look totally different

Through everything, I stayed the course, finding an obstacle or two along the way, but never deviating from my journey to accomplish my fitness goals.  The most significant personal challenge I have accomplished is the completion of a four-part performance assessment for my license to be a school administrator.  I got my official certificate last night!

I can imagine if the state of Massachusetts saw that I posted this online...
so I edited and water-marked it to make it difficult to be reproduced.
But it's official!  :-)

In June, I finished one more graduate class and school let out, which has allowed me to train. I’ve been riding close to 100 miles / week.  Each ride I take is a learning experience and I so enjoy riding and the challenge it gives me.  I’m not crazy about climbing hills, but I don’t mind them and sometimes I feel like I’m kicking their “@$$.”

To compensate for the riding, I have been eating more than 500 calories above what I typically eat daily.  I feel like I am hungry all the time.  I hate it because I religiously log all my food.  My food journal tells me I’ve met my calories and macros for the day, but I am still hungry.  So I listen to my body and I eat, and without trying, I’ve lost four more pounds this month.  Some of my clothes are literally falling off me. 

Last weekend I wanted to challenge myself by completing the first leg of R2R.  I figured I would ride down to the starting point in the morning, head up to the first rest stop before there was too much traffic, then head back through one of the towns, around the back way to our house.  I mapped it out on MapMyRide and it was a 40 mile ride.  I thought, “Ok, you got this.”

I was nervous when I got started.  I went out by myself, which was my first solo ride in a couple weeks.  When I completed the first leg of the journey, the feeling I had was somewhat indescribable.  Energized?  Pumped?  Blissful?  Tired?  How do you combine these four words into one?  I took a short break and headed back.  The sun was high by this point and the heat was increasing.  I had plenty of water and Gatorade with me still.  I had a snack at the rest stop and was feeling good.  As I headed through Monson, I knew I had a mountain to climb, or at least go around.  It was tough.  I had ridden the mountain on the other side and this side was significantly less steep, but I was tired by this point and the sun was hot.

I lost the GPS on my way home, so I don't know exactly what my average speed was.
When I re-mapped the ride out, it was actually 45 miles that morning.
It was a great feeling to have done it!

At one point, I pulled over and took a fluid break.  I had to catch my breath and let the blood flow back to my brain.  I was starting to feel really fatigued and I thought, “I should call Brian to come get me.  I’m really beat.”  But the next thought echoed, “You are not a quitter, you got this.  Come on.”  So I endeavored to get back on the road, finish my climb and get back to our house.  Within ¾ of a mile, I went by Echo Hill Farm, which is a familiar orchard where I brought the kids apple picking in the past.  “A little further, Tracey, you got this.”  Sure enough, I got to the fork in the road, chose the back way which meant less climbing.  A climb still, but not as much.  Within a short while, it was an exhilarating descent for the rest of the way.  When I got home, I was spent.  I was expecting company at 12, but I had to rest.  At 11:30, I took a shower, and texted my friends came at 12:30 and I honestly don’t remember much of what happened the rest of the day.  I was completely exhausted.

I was wiped!

I stopped at the bike shop to get a couple tubes (spares, in case of a flat) and Gary, Jr. at Comp Edge started to talk to me about my nutrition, another customer came in and the conversation ended.  Sunday I was so tired I could not function very well.  I went wine tasting with a friend and told her she needed to drive because I was too tired.  My legs felt like Jell-O all day.  Monday I felt awful, physically and cognitively.  I couldn’t really make sense of things, and physically I felt terrible, which left me feeling defeated.  Three days of feeling like crap.  I was eating and hydrating – far more than I usually do.  I did not understand.

I was done.  As much as I enjoy working out, it’s the good feeling afterwards that I enjoy, not being spent.  I was ready to throw in the towel.  I just wanted to cry.  I can’t do this.

I work out with my trainer on Mondays.  Even though I didn’t feel like it, I went in to see him.  We talked about all of this, he looked at my nutrition journal and made some adjustments.  “Now, go home and eat.  3,000 calories today.  3,000 calories tomorrow.”  What?  How am I supposed to do that?  I can’t possibly eat that much.  “Eat what you enjoy.  What kind of foods would you eat if you could eat anything?”  Pizza.  Ice Cream.  Baked potatoes.  A cheeseburger.  My mind started to race with thoughts of fattening foods I had been either avoiding or eating very sparingly.

I accepted the challenge, went home and had two pieces of meat-lovers pizza, ending the night with an ice cream sundae, topped with chocolate sauce and peanut butter.  It was amazing, but sickening sweet.  The next day was easier because I had an entire day to eat the 3,000 calories, so I ate a huge breakfast; a small sub and chips for lunch; steak, corn on the cob, salad (with blue cheese dressing), Italian bread and a baked potato with sour cream for dinner.  I was soooo stuffed I could not eat the corn.  I felt like my stomach was going to explode.  I logged all my calories and there were enough to have a Friendly’s Reese’s Peanut Butter sundae cup for dessert.  But I couldn’t even think about it because I was so full, but was able to eat it before the end of the night.

All this food made me feel stuffed.
The sweet sugary ice cream that I used to
love and crave so much was way too sweet for me.  

The extra calories gave me a huge boost in energy.  Cognitively I feel so much better.  My thoughts are not jumbled, my mood is significantly improved.  I was able to finish cleaning the house for the wedding we were supposed to host last night.  All week, I've had a jump in my step and a desire to work out. 

My son's best friend came home from Alaska on Monday to marry his fiancé.
We were going to have it at our house in the back yard, but the forecast was
severe thunderstorms, so on Wednesday, the decision was made to move the venue.

I LOVE how crazy hair looked at the wedding!
It's usually pin straight and flying every where.

What did I learn from all this? 

NEVER GIVE UP.  I do need to listen to my body.  But I don’t have to quit.  When I want to quit, it means I need to make some adjustments to what I am doing and figure it out. 

EAT.  Unlike before, when I was trying to lose weight, now I actually need to eat a lot more!  My body needs the fuel to function, both for my rides and for daily activity.  I was burning more than my body has, so my resources were deplete.  Dmitriy gave me a lot of technical explanations, which I understand (enough) but cannot begin to explain.  Being able to eat more (and a lot more carbs than I was before) is harder than it sounds, as I have to overcome feeling guilty about eating a bagel or having a sandwich.

TALK TO PROFESSIONALS.  According to the girls at work, I was feeling crappy last week too, but I don’t remember.  (I was in a fog.)  I should have waited to finish my talk with Gary, Jr. on Saturday, or at least followed up with him later.  The guys at the bike shop are incredibly knowledgeable and more than willing to share their expertise.  I should have talked to Dmitrity about feeling crappy sooner, not when I was at the end of my rope.  I guess I didn’t know what was going on enough to even think it was my nutrition, although Gary, Jr. gave me that inclination.  I can’t tell you how much I value Dmitriy and everything he does to support and encourage me.  He is amazing.  I write about him here:  Dmitriy Made It Happen.

ASSESS and REASSESS as you go.  I had been talking to Dmitrity about my nutrition when I ride and he made some good suggestions which helped me a lot.  But my body stores were deplete and it was not enough.  I have a lot of riding planned for this weekend, so we are going to reassess at my next session to see how I held up.

LISTEN TO YOUR BODY.  Your body needs proper hydration, nutrition and rest.  If you can’t figure it out, talk to someone who knows what they are talking about and listen to their advice.

I am planning a ride today when I get home from Logan Airport (my son is going on a Missions Trip with our church youth group).  What’s on the menu?  A peanut butter and jelly sandwich on white bread!  Why?  (My body needs the simple carbs to give me the fuel to get through the ride.)  I’m feeling so much better that I am really looking forward to it!

I’ll post some pics here later.
Here are the pics:  Riding

And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
Galatians 6:9

Here's my question for you?  
What do you do when you're at the end of your rope?  
How do you stay the course?  
Post your answer in the comments below.

Follow me on Instagram @tracoleman99